


The Air I Breathe

by GracefullyEmmaginative



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Athena Grant and Bobby Nash are Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Depression, Gen, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Nausea, Possible depressive themes, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Protective Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Protective Maddie Buckley, Sick Character, Sick Evan "Buck" Buckley, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Symptoms of chemo, Team as Family, Vomiting, Worried Eddie Diaz, big brother chimney, chemo - Freeform, slight AU, slight Buddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracefullyEmmaginative/pseuds/GracefullyEmmaginative
Summary: “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him.  It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits.  He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.“It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.“What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why.  He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.“Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.“Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a“We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”It was silent.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Carla Price, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan Buck Buckley and the 118, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), slight
Comments: 79
Kudos: 560





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!   
> So this is my first work for 9-1-1, and I really hope you enjoy it! I plan on updating at least once a week if not more, but I’m sorry in advance if I stray from that hopeful schedule. I will try my best.
> 
> I’m really excited about this story,
> 
> Here are some things you should know—   
> Maddie and Chim live together in a house   
> Buck and Maddie’s parents suck, and Maddie pretty much raised Buck since he was a baby.   
> Doug didn’t happen  
> Buck’s time in North America didn’t happen, not did the Seals  
> And Maddie and Buck moved out to LA together
> 
> I think that’s it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! 
> 
> Warnings in the end notes 👇🏻

Buck stood outside the entrance to the firehouse, leaning back against his Jeep with his mouth covered securely by his elbow, unable to stop coughing. He leaned down slightly with one last hacking exhale before standing straight with a groan, a hand rubbing up and down his chest. He was so busy trying to keep his lungs within the vicinity of his chest cavity that he didn’t notice Eddie walk up beside him with their usual morning brew. He placed the to-go carton on top of the Jeep before rubbing a hand up and down his best friend’s back, gently tapping in order to expel whatever was stuck in the younger man’s throat. 

“You alright man?” Eddie asked, causing Buck to nod absentmindedly even though he was clearly not fine. 

“I’m alright, I just can’t seem to shake this cough. It’s been weeks and I’m still trying to cough up a lung every five seconds.” Eddie frowned at how hoarse Bucks' voice sounded, turning the man so he could examine him with the keen eye of a paramedic. Now that he was looking, he could see how pale and tired he looked, his skin resembling wax and a sheen coat of sweat on his brow. Eddie placed a trained hand on Bucks forehead, frowning even more so when heat quickly soaked into his palm. 

“You don’t look so good Buck, are you sure you should be here? Maybe you should go to the doctor and get checked out.” Now it was Bucks turn to frown, not liking the idea of visiting his doctor at all. 

He was just a little under the weather, that’s all, and Eddie was being a worried dad like usual. 

“Nah, I’m good man, I just caught a bug or something—“ Buck pushed back from his car and grabbed the cooling coffee from the hood— “and I have a twenty four hour shift to get through, I’ll be fine.” He said, making his way into the firehouse with Eddie hot on his heels. 

“It’s still early Buck, I’m sure we could find someone to cover for you, and I really don't think it’s a good idea for you to work today. You're clearly not feeling well.” Eddie tried to reason, but his pleas fell on deaf (or unwilling) ears. 

Eddie wasn’t worried though, positive that Bobby would send the young firefighter home with a single look, chastising him for even trying to work while he was not at the top of his game. The older man watched as Buck lumbered up the stairs, taking them a single step at a time instead of his usual two, only strengthening his belief that his best friend should take a day off. 

Bobby turned around with a smile, having heard his boys heavy footsteps as they made their way up to the lounge, stopping when he got a glance as his youngest firefighter. 

“What are you doing here?” The Captain asked, crossing his arms and lowering his voice slightly. He had to hold back a smirk when Buck froze, eyes snapping to attention and apprehension filling his stance. 

“Bobby, come on.” Buck pleaded even though he knew it was no use; there was no changing his Captain's mind, especially when it came to the health of his team. 

“You're sick.” The older man said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the word; and to most, it was. Except for one Evan Buckley, who thought a sick day was a self appointed jail sentence instead of a needed day off. 

Buck was just about to argue, plead for his right to work, when a cough bubbled up in his chest with such ferocity that he couldn’t play it off as a fluke or the air being dry. He doubled over in an instant, chest heaving as he struggled to take in enough air between coughs. Four sets of hands were immediately on him, pushing him back until he was seated firmly in a chair. Buck closed his eyes for a moment, catching his breath and preparing himself for the barrage of questions that were surely to come. 

“You okay Buckaroo? You sound like death warmed over.” Hen placed a motherly hand on the winded man's shoulder, rubbing gently until he composed himself. A cup of cold water was placed in his hands at the next moment, guiding the rim to his lips when he didn’t immediately move to take a drink. 

“You're going home, kid. No excuses, and I want you to schedule a doctor's appointment for that cough today; I don’t care if you have to pull the firefighter card.” Bobby said, already pulling Buck up by his elbows, “I’ll call in Williams and have him cover your shift, no problem.” Buck made it down the stairs with Bobby and Eddie both supporting his weight, only tripping slightly on the landing. He let them drag him to his car, going as far as to open his door before he stopped Bobby when he reached for his seat belt. 

“I’m fine guys, seriously. It’s just a cough. I’ll go home and rest, I swear.” 

“No, you’re going to go and schedule that doctor's appointment, and if you can’t get one in with your doctor then I want you to go to the emergency room, alright? Do you want Eddie to drive you?” Bobby said, kneeling slightly so he could look Buck in the eye.

“No it’s alright, I can get home. I’ll be okay.” Buck swung his legs into the car, clicking his seatbelt into place before rolling down his window. He leaned his arm out the window so he could address his team. 

“Drive home safe kid, and call me when you get that appointment scheduled.” Bobby said pointedly with a glare that could rival Athena’s before turning around and making his way into the firehouse. 

“Stay safe Buckaroo and call me if you need anything, alright?” Hen ran a quick hand through his hair and patted the younger man’s cheek before leaving. 

“I’m calling Maddie about this right now, so don’t even think about skipping out on that appointment Buck.” Chim called from over his shoulder, and Buck didn’t have to see his face to know it held a smirk. Buck huffed before facing his final team member, and the one least likely to leave him alone. 

“Maybe you should just go straight to the ER. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Eddie said, Hands already reaching for his keys despite Bucks lack of response— “why am I even giving you the option, of course I should drive you—“

“Eddie, man you're freaking out.” Bucks voice was still hoarse, a little rough around the edges and airy, only fulling Eddies need to fix it, to make it better.

“You shouldn’t be driving yourself to the hospital Buck.” By now Eddie was leaning into the driver's window, looking seconds away from jumping in and comenderring the car so Buck couldn’t drive it.

“The ER is like ten minutes away from here Ed’s, I’ll be fine. I’ll even go right now if that’ll make you feel better.” Buck had a hand already placed on the steering wheel, keys in the ignition and foot firmly on the brake pedal. All he needed was for Eddie to let him go. 

“Okay fine, but promise you’ll pull over if you start coughing bad, and call as soon as you get there and tell me what the doctors say, okay?” Eddie said, finally backing away from the car. Buck nodded, sticking his hand out the window for a quick fistbump before he was making his way towards the hospital. 

Truth be told he should have gotten his chest checked out weeks ago, but he was too afraid of it being something to go on his own accord. He couldn’t bare the thought of being out of work for even a second, and now he was starting to regret it. 

The coughing had gotten worse overtime, what started as a tickle was now a full blown ach in his chest cavity, his lungs heaving and wheezing even hours after a spell. 

Buck ran an hand over his chest, rubbing where the ach was most fierce and praying it wasn’t more than a lasting bug. He just caught a nasty virus and it was taking longer for him to shake it. 

He pulled into the parking lot of the ER entrance and made his way inside, stopping at the front desk. 

“Hi, my name’s Evan Buckley, and I’m coming in about a really bad cough and some chest pains. I'm a firefighter so I went to make sure it’s nothing serious.” He told the nurse at the front desk, a young man with slicked back curls thick black rimmed glasses. 

“No problem, just fill out these forms and take a seat. A doctor will call your name when it’s your turn.” Buck took the forms and left with a quick thank you, finding a seat in the relatively empty room. The only other residents were an older woman, a man about his age, and a mom clutching her kid. 

‘Hopefully I don’t have to wait long to be seen’ Buck thought as he sent a mass text out to his team stating that he made it to the ER without problem.

——

Buck watched as each person got called back, the room's population dwindling to one until it was finally his turn after about an hour of waiting. 

“Mr. Buckley?” The doctor called, gesturing for him to head back into the exam room. 

“I’m Dr. Simmons and I’ve been told that you have a lasting cough and same chest pains?” The doctor asked, grabbing a stethoscope and gesturing for Buck to sit down on the exam table. Buck did, climbing up and placing his hands in his lap. 

“Yeah, I’ve had this cough for a few weeks now, and the chest pain started about a week ago. I’m a firefighter so I want to make sure it’s not smoke inhalation or something serious.” Dr. Simmons nodded long, placing the stethoscope against Bucks back and telling him to breathe deeply, which he did with some difficulty. He couldn’t take too deep of a breath without it hurting, so his inhale sounded wheezy and slightly choked off at the end. 

The older man hummed, listening closely for a few more minutes before leaning back with a sigh. 

“There’s definitely something going on in your lungs, but I would like to take some scans and do some tests to confirm. We’re going to start off with some chest x-rays and do a CAT-scan if necessary, alright? We can get those done within the hour and have the results by tomorrow. I would like to go over the scans in person, so it’d be best if you don’t go to work tomorrow, not that you should with a cough and chest pains anyways.” Doctor Simmons said, typing notes into his computer. “Do you have anyone you want to call? You might be here awhile.” 

Buck thought about it before deciding to shoot Maddie and his team a quick text, telling them he’s fine and going to get some tests done now. 

——

The trip to the ER took just over four hours, only a fraction of that time spent with an actual doctor, and the rest nearing level after level of candy crush on his phone as he waited to be called back. Buck was exhausted by the time he got to his Jeep, a doctor's slip in hand and appointment scheduled for eight o’clock tomorrow morning. 

The firefighter sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel before pulling out his phone to text everyone that he was finally heading home. 

——

“So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing. 

“It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before. 

“What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus. 

“Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus. 

“Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper. 

It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a

“We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.” 

It was silent. 

Buck went silent, his mind checking out for a moment as he tried to make head and tails of the doctor's words. He sucked in a breath, holding it for far too long before finally releasing it. 

“Are you still with me Mr. Buckley?” The doctor's voice was far away, muffled and warped and floating through water. 

Buck found himself nodding despite not having the mental capacity at the moment to do so. 

“I really think you should call somebody to be with you right now. I’m going to send you home with a care packet that has all the information you need to know, and I want you to schedule another appointment for tomorrow, alright?” Dr. Simmons was sure none of the information he was saying was sinking in despite the frequent nods his patient was giving him. The doctor slowly got up and made his way over to the young man, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Buck's head snapped up, eyes wide and glassy. 

“I’m going to have a nurse call somebody for you alright? Who do you want to come?” 

David Simmons was a father to three boys, all around the same age as the young man before him, and he couldn’t help but be concerned. 

No one should bear this kind of news alone, especially someone so young. 

“My—my sister.” Buck choked out, nails digging into his palms as he tried to keep what little composure he had left. 

“I assume she’s your emergency contact?” Buck nodded again, watching as his doctor left with one final squeeze on his shoulder. 

He had cancer.

——

Maddie was just getting home from work, greeting Chimney at the door with a quick kiss when her phone started to ring. She thought nothing of it, answering without checking the caller ID first. 

“Hello?” She said, throwing her keys into the bowl beside the door and collapsing down onto the couch. 

“Is this Madeline Buckley?” The voice asked, causing Maddie to frown slightly. 

“This is she, can I ask who’s calling?” Chimney walked over then, sitting down next to his girlfriend and rubbing a gentle hand over her neck. 

“This is Jason Vega, a nurse at LA General, and I’m calling on the behalf of Evan Buckley?” Maddie froze at that, a sense Of dread coating her skin and causing her to shiver.

“Is my brother okay?” She looked over at her boyfriend, catching his concerned gaze before focusing back on the call. 

“He came in today for a follow up checkup regarding his cough, and the doctor thinks it’s best if someone comes down and sits with him. He asked for you by name.” 

Maddie was already up and grabbing her purse, Chimney hot on her heels. 

“Of course, of course— is everything alright?” 

“I think it’s best you come down to the hospital and speak with the doctor in person. We’ll explain everything when you get here.” Maddie nodded, throwing out a quick thank you before running out to her car.

“Maddie, what’s going on?” Chimney asked, plucking the keys out of his girlfriend's hand, slipping into the driver's seat himself. She was in no condition to drive. 

“I’m not sure, a nurse at LA general just called and said that Buck needs someone to sit with him, and that I need to talk to his doctor? I don’t know.” She shook her head, hand clutching her phone in a white knuckle grip. 

Chimney reached over and placed a hand on her knee, squeezing gently before focusing back on driving. 

“Why don’t you send a text to everyone to explain the situation? Just say we’re meeting Buck at the hospital and we’ll text them an update when we have it, alright?” Maddie nodded, glad to have something to do. 

To The Fire Fam— Howie and I are meeting Buck at the hospital. We’ll send an update soon.

Maddie put her phone down in her lap for a second before it was blowing up, everyone in their family looking for answers. 

From Hen— is he alright??

From Eddie— do you want us to meet you at the hospital?

From Athena— what did the doctor say?

And so forth, everyone more than ready to drop everything and high tail it to the hospital. 

From Maddie— don’t have any information right now, but I’ll text everyone once I know what’s happening.

Maddie put her phone on silent once they pulled into the hospital parking lot twenty minutes later, jumping out and grabbing Chimney's hand for support.

“Everything’s going to be okay, and if it’s not right now then it will be soon, alright? This is Buck we’re talking about, that kid has like nine lives.” Chimney tried to joke, but there was no mistaking the concern in his tone. They walked up to the front desk hand and hand, smiling once they had the nurses attention. 

“Hi, we’re here for Evan Buckley?” Maddie said, causing the nurse to nod and page someone to the front desk.

It took only a minute for a doctor to show up, his face grim despite the noticeable effort to keep his expression neutral and unassuming. 

“I’m Dr. Simmons; if you both would follow me right this way.” He said, leading them back to a small office, and gesturing for them to take a seat.

Maddie did, her arms clenched tightly in her lap. “Where’s my brother?” She got right to the point, here nerves overriding her manners.

“He’s back with a nurse right now, and we can go see him shortly, I just wanted to talk to you for a moment.” The doctor pulled out a crisp vanilla folder from his desk, shuffling through it until he found the paper he was looking for. “This is a scan of Mr, Buckley’s lungs from six months ago.” He said, displaying a healthy looking pair of lungs. 

Chimney was not liking where this was going. He’s seen this tactic done many times before; show what the scan is supposed to look like, and then show what it was now. Chimney held his breath, subconsciously clutching the arm rest, gearing up for what he knew was coming.

But it couldn’t be true— this was Buck they were talking about— and Buck couldn’t—

“And this is his lungs now.” Chimney didn’t have to look to know what was wrong. He looked over at his girlfriend and caught the exact moment she realized what was happening. 

Buck had Cancer. 

Evan Buckley, the man he saw as a little brother, had cancer. 

Fucking cancer. 

“No.” Chimney was there in a second, arms wrapping around Maddie’s shaking frame as she collapsed inwards. He was expecting tears, screams of anguish and confusion, but instead he got silence. Maddie went still, jaw clenched as she tried to control herself. “What—What-“ she tried to get something out, act like she wasn’t on the brink of a mental breakdown, but her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. 

“It’s alright, it’s okay.” Chimney was rubbing a hand up and down his girlfriend's back, blinking back his own tears and trying to figure out where to go from here. Thankfully the doctor was two steps ahead of them. 

“Mr. Buckley is sitting with a nurse right now, he’s just right down the hall—“ the doctor soothed, “I want you to schedule a appointment with oncology tomorrow, they’ll go over everything that needs to be done in order to form a treatment plan, but don’t worry about that tonight, alright? Take Mr. Buckley home, makes some calls, and just keep him relaxed.” The doctor advised, gesturing for the couple to get up when they were ready. Chimney kept a firm hold on Maddie as he eased her out of the chair, clutching an arm around her waist to make sure she was supported. Dr. Simmons led them down the hallway and into a room a few doors down where Buck was waiting, an older woman at his side. 

“There’s your sister and Chimney now Evan.” The women said, smiling down at Buck like he was one of her own sons, a warm hand placed in his. 

“Hello there, my name’s Jane and I was just keeping Evan here company till you arrived. He was just telling me about you guys, but didn’t have a chance to explain why your name is Chimney.” The nurse laughed, causing Chimney to grin. 

“That’s a story I’ll never be able to tell sober.” That got everyone laughing, and Chimney grinned even wider at the tiny chuckle he got out of Buck. 

“I’ll leave you with your family; alright, Evan? It was nice meeting you dear and I’m sure I’ll see you around.” She placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder before leaving, touching Maddie’s on her way out. 

Maddie walked slowly over to her brother, hands shaking as she sat down next to him on the hospital bed. She leaned her head down until it was resting gently on Buck's shoulder, no words being said between the siblings, but then again nothing really needed to be said at the moment. Chimney slowly walked up to the pair, standing before them and grabbing each of their hands. 

They sat there in silence for a matter of minutes, gathering their thoughts before feeling as though they had enough strength to face what lay outside the little bubble of safety they created. 

Maddie was the first to speak up, a soft smile on her face as she looked at her brother, “the doctor said we can go home tonight, and we’re going to schedule another appointment for tomorrow morning. Are you ready to go? ” The older woman was rubbing a hand up and done Buck’s arm, trying to catch his attention long enough to get a response. Buck looked spacey, almost like his brain had shut off so it didn’t have to deal with what was happening, not that anyone could blame him. 

He was just diagnosed with lung cancer not even an hour ago. 

‘Jesus,’ Chimney though. This was really happening. This wasn’t some really weird fever dream; this was reality. 

Buck had cancer. 

‘No, no— don’t do that.’ Chimney shook himself slightly, stretching out his shoulders and bringing himself out of his head. ‘They need you now more than ever, so get your head out of your ass and step up.’ 

“How about we stop for some smoothies on the way home? That’ll be good for your throat Buck, and I don’t know about you guys, but I could really go for a treat.” Buck lifted his head up for the first time and met his friend’s (brother really) eyes, smiling slightly. 

“That sounds nice.” He said, voice still rough around the edges but his eyes looked a little clearer, so Chim would take what he could get. Maddie reached down and helped Buck up, keeping an arm wrapped in his as they made their way out to the reception desk. Chimney quickly made the appointment, scheduled for ten the next morning, before leading their little group out of the hospital and to his parked car. 

“We’ll have someone come get your car later Buck.” Chimney said even though that was probably the last thing on his mind. The younger man just nodded, getting into the back seat without a word. Maddie shut the door softly, turning to her boyfriend with glistening eyes and a sob stuck in her throat. Chimney wrapped her up in his arms quickly, tucking her head under his chin and speaking softly—“it's going to be okay, Maddie. It’s going to be alright.” 

“How do you know?” Maddie said, taking deep breaths to stop herself from crying. 

“Because this is Buck we’re talking about, things will be rough for a while, but he has the best support group behind him. He’ll be okay.” Chimney presses one final kiss to her temple, pushing her hair behind her ear before gesturing to the passenger seat. 

The couple hopped into the car, looking back to see Buck leaning his head against the car door, face tucked into the sweatshirt he wore to suppress the coughing fit he couldn’t stop. Maddie turned in her seat, worry covering her features despite trying to not come off as overbearing. 

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“I’m fine, This is normal I guess, the non-stop coughing.” Buck kept his eyes closed, mouth hidden beneath the fabric of his sweatshirt. His forehead was crinkled with pain, eyes closed against the light shining through the window. 

Tension headaches from all the coughing were apparently a normal thing as well, because his head has been pounding off and on for days now, coming and going with each fit he had. 

“I can give you some tylenol when we get our smoothies, alright?” Maddie said, and all Buck could do was nod. 

They drove for maybe five minutes before Chim pulled into their favorite smoothie place conveniently placed close to their fire station. He pulled out his wallet, already knowing everybody’s orders by heart. He left with a quick smile, walking into the local owned smoothie place with a soft smile, greeting the owner like he did at every visit. 

“Hey Joan.” Chimney greeted, trying to keep his usual enthusiasm in his voice but he knew he fell short. Joan gave him a look, eyes squinting slightly.

“Rough day, Chim?” The older women asked, leaning on the counter. 

“You could say that.” More like today has turned into one of the worst of his life, but the shop owner didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to turn someone’s else’s day on it’s head just because he felt like screaming and crying. 

“Well let me get you your usuals, who are you ordering for today hun?” Joan asked, already knowing it wasn’t just him looking for a cool treat. It was rare that anyone from the firehouse came in and ordered just one drink. 

“It’s just Maddie, Buck and I today Joan.” Chimney said, the older women pulling fruits from bowls and preparing the smoothies without prompting. 

“So a strawberry banana for Maddie, a green madness with mango purée for Buck, and a very berry for you. Anything else?” She asked as Chimney walked over to the tip jar and threw in a ten. Joan looked over, knowing exactly what he was doing and huffed. 

“You know first responders don’t pay for anything in this shop, Mr. Han” Joan said, eyeing the ten dollar bill like it personally offended her. She handed over the smoothies, throwing in a couple of her handmade chocolate chip cookies just to spite him.

“You can’t run a business like that Joan, especially with how often we come in here.” Chimney took the smoothies and cookies with a smile, nodding to the older women as he made his way to the door. 

“Thanks again Joan!” 

“Anytime Chimney, tell the others hi for me.”

When Chimney got back to his car he noticed two things had changed in the time it took to get their smoothies 

One was Maddie was no longer in the passenger seat, but instead curled up in the back row next to her younger brother; and the second being Buck was no longer conscious, head tucked in Maddie’s lap and she ran her fingers through his hair. 

The older man hopped into the front seat quietly, putting the drinks down in the empty spot beside him before turning, finding Maddie’s piercing eyes already on him. 

“He's exhausted.” She said simply, voice thick with emotion. 

“It’s been a rough day.” Chimney said, passing back her smoothie. She took it silently, sticking the straw in and taking a sip. “We’ll just pop his in the freezer for later; just let him sleep for now.” 

The ride home was silent, Bucks soft breathing filling the air while Maddie ran a hand through his hair softly, hushing him when he started to stir. 

They haven’t done this in years, Buck falling asleep in her lap. She used to take him out when their parents got too loud, or tensions got too high and she’d drive for a couple miles to put some distance between them and their problems. Maddie would stop at an empty field or park and climb into the backseat next to her brother, cradle him in her arms, reminding him over and over again how much she loved him. That he was something special and it didn’t matter what their parents thought, and that they’d be okay as long as they had each other. 

Everything was going to be okay as long as they had each other


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here is the next chapter, I really hope you enjoy. Let me know if you have any ideas on what you want to see happen next! It would really help me out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

They guided Buck into the guest bedroom as soon as they got home, Maddie all but tucking him in before they left him to take a much needed nap. 

Now the couple sat side by side on the couch, phones in hand and wondering what their next steps would be. 

“We have to Call them; they’ll kill us if we don’t tell them.” Chimney said, Hen’s contact already pulled up on his phone. 

“They’ll want to come over the second they hear the news, and I don’t know if Buck can handle that right now; I don’t know if I can handle that right now.” Maddie curled herself into a small ball on the couch next to Chimney, head tucked down into her raised knees like she was trying to hide from the world. 

Chimney thought for a moment, running an anxious head through his hair before standing up. “I’m going to call everyone and tell them to meet me at Bobby and Athena’s house, and tell them there. You stay here with Buck alright? I’ll handle everything.” Maddie raised her head, tears shining in her eyes. Chimney leaned down and kissed her forehead, brushing the bangs from her out of her eyes as he did. “Don’t worry about a thing alright? Just take care of Buck for me.” 

“Always.” Maddie got up from the couch and pulled her boyfriend into a crushing hug, tucking her head under his chin and closing her eyes. “I love you Howie.” She whispered.

Chimney kissed her one more time before pushing her gently back on to the couch, tucking her in with a blanket. 

“I love you too.” 

——

The second Chimney was locked in his car, windows rolled up and sealbest placed, he screamed. As loud as he could into his steering wheel, pounding his curled up fists roughly into the worm leather. The tears started without his consent, a hand harshly wiping them away absentmindedly. 

He gave himself five minutes to get his act together before he sent out a text in a new group chat, one that excluded the Buckley siblings. 

From Chimney- I know this is sudden and very last minute, but could everyone please meet at Bobby and Athena’s as soon as possible? It’s important. I’ll explain when everyone gets there.

It’s only been an hour, maybe a hour and a half sence Maddie got the call from the hospital, everything moving so fast yet slow sence they got the knews. 

It feels like a whole week has gone by in the span of an hour. 

Chimney’s phone Dinged in rapid succession, texts flooding in demanding answers that the man was unwilling to give over the phone. 

From Athena— of course everyone can come over, but what’s going on Chimney?

From Eddie— is Buck alright? Chris is at his Abuela’s tonight so I’m on my way now.

From Hen— Karen’s watching the kids. You have some serious explaining to do Chim. 

Chimney turned down his street, making his way towards his Captain’s house with a heavy heart, wondering how he was going to break the news to his team. 

He spent the whole ride to Bobby and Athena’s debating the best way to ease into the diagnosis, wondering if he should just tell it straight or test the waters first when he realized it wouldn’t matter. Hen and Athena will take one look at him and instantly know something was horribly wrong, followed quickly by Eddie and Bobby because everyone takes their cues from each other, so there’s no point in hiding it. 

Chimney was surprisingly the last one to arrive, but it was probably for the best. He didn’t know if he could handle the questions that were no doubt going to be flung his way without breaking into tears. 

He made it to the front door silently, hand poised to knock when it was flung open by a worried Athena, brows creased and eyes ranking over his slouched and defeated form. Just like he knew she would, Athena could tell something was horribly wrong with just one glance. She ushered the man in with a hand on his back, leading him down the stairs and into the living room where the whole team was waiting.

Eddie was pacing the length of the family room anxiously, eyes snapping to Chimney’s as soon as the man entered. Booby was frantically baking in the kitchen, pulling trays of cookies from the oven and watching something boil on the stove. He was always one to stress bake. Hen was the only one sitting, but looked about ready to pounce on her best friend as soon as he was in sight. 

Chimney sighed and took a seat in the empty lounge chair, leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on his knees and place his head in his hands. This was a conversation he was not looking forward to. 

“What’s going on Chimney?” Athena said, standing behind the younger man with a hand rested on his shoulder in comfort. 

“How about everyone come sit down first because I only want to say this once.” The firefighters words were muffled into his palms, but everyone understood enough to take a seat, Bobby switching off the stove before making his way over. Everyone sat in a circle, filling up the couch and empty chairs until the whole team was leaning forward in anxious tandem. 

“What’s going on with Buck, Chim?” Eddie asked, eyes wide in what looked like fear because Chimney wouldn’t call them all there for good news, or even if Buck had the flu or pneumonia; no, it was something more permanent than that.

“Buck’s cough wasn’t just a cough like we thought.” Chimney whispered, voice cracking, eyes filling with tears much to everyone’s surprise, and dismay. Athena caught on first, connecting the dots like the detective she was trained to be, arm reaching out and clutching her husbands. She held her breath, knowing what was coming before it even could be said because it couldn’t be true. No- no Buck was fine— he was—

Chimney took in a stuttering breath before spitting the words out like they burned him, like if he didn’t say them now, he wouldn’t get the chance to later— 

“Buck has lung cancer.” 

Chimney heard Hen’s shocked gasp and Eddie’s pounding fist as it connected with the meat on his thigh, but he ignored the people around him in favor of fighting off his own panic, hand clutching at his hair as he scrunched his eyes shut against the urge to cry. He couldn’t stop the tears but it didn't matter because there wasn’t a dry cheek among them, Hen sobbing into her hand and Bobby and Athena clutching each other. Chimney glanced over at Eddie who had yet to make a sound, only to see that he was clenching his jaw so hard he couldn’t talk even if he wanted to. 

“Are the doctors sure?” Hen gasped, glasses removed and eyes streaming without notice. Chimney could only nod, his throat choked shut, an invisible hand slowly fighting down on his vocal cords. 

Eddie stood abruptly, hand reaching for his keys and making quick steps towards the entryway. Both Bobby and Chimney jumped up to stop him, grabbing a shoulder each and gently pushing him back. 

“Where are you going Eddie?” Bobby asked, Athena walking up behind them and placing a hand on her husband's shoulder, the contact seemingly more for her own benefit then his. 

“Where do you think I’m going?” He yelled, having found his voice now that anger has started to overcome the shock. 

That seemed to be his go to emotion when it came to dealing with his feelings, to let the anger filter out what he was really feeling. Anyone who knew the firefighter at all could tell that he was trying to cover up his own fear. 

“He’s with Maddie back at our house, and last time I checked he was sound asleep in the guest bedroom. I had to carry him in from the car when he fell asleep on the way back from the hospital. He’s probably going to sleep through the night, only waking up to eat something at Maddie’s Insistence. He’s okay Eddie.” Chimney tried to calm his friend, really everyone in the room. He’s the only one that has seen Buck since the diagnosis. 

“But he’s not okay, is he? No—he has a fucking tumor in his lung and has fucking cancer. Last time I checked that wasn’t the definition of okay. Nothing about this is okay.” Eddie was rambling, pacing the length of the living room once again, trying to figure out what he was going to do. 

Every fiber of his being was screaming to go to Buck, to find him and wrap him up in his arms and find a way to fight this battle for him because Buck didn’t deserve this. Nobody deserved this, but especially not Buck. 

Not his best friend.

What was going to tell Chris? Would he even understand the concept of a sickness that didn’t go away after a few days of sleep and pedialyte?

Eddie had seen what cancer could do to someone up close, his grandfather having died from it when he was in his twenties, and he couldn’t imagine Buck having the same fate. 

“Eddie? You alright?” That was Bobby’s voice, filtering in through his panic and drawing his attention back outwards. He reached out a hand and gripped his Captain's forearm. Bobby pulled him in for a hug without question, wrapping him up tight like his embrace was the only thing keeping him present. 

“I need to see him.” Eddie whispered, tears filling his eyes once more. 

Bobby looked over his shoulder at the rest of his team, catching each of their eyes before deciding that no one was going to be able to go tonight without seeing their youngest firefighter. 

“We will Eddie, we’ll go see Buck soon.” Bobby half expected Chim to veto the idea, but the man stayed quiet, a signal nod voicing his agreement. 

“We haven’t really talked about it yet, but Buck’s going to stay with Maddie and I at our house. I think we can all agree that he shouldn’t be living by himself in his apartment.” No one could argue with that; each of them willing to offer space up in their own homes without question. 

Chimney shot Maddie a quick text, letting her know that they would be making their way to the house soon, and asking for a quick update on Buck to settle everyone’s nerves. 

Hen grabbed her phone and keys and slowly walked to the front door, Athena coming up beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The pair made their way out to the car together, leaning on each other for support and only looking back once to make sure the rest of the group was following. 

Eddie stood rooted in his spot, unable to move despite that being the only thing on his mind since he got the news. There was something stopping him though, a feat he couldn’t quite place. He looked over at Bobby with wide eyes, looking to the older man for guidance in a situation no one could have prepared for. 

They were calm and collected during emergencies, able to turn a person’s worst day into something manageable, but they all completely lost it when one of their own was on the line. 

This wasn’t a problem they could fix with a brave exterior and a calming smile.

And that scared Eddie more than anything else in the world.

——

Buck shifted around in the guest bed, twisting so he was laying on his left side instead of his back, trying to alleviate some of the pressure from his chest. He curled up as tight as he could, curling around his chest like that would take away all the pain he was feeling. 

Just yesterday he thought he had a bad cough or caught some lingering virus, and now—not even twenty four hours later— he has lung cancer and a chronic cough that will probably last the rest of his days. 

Even if he beat the cancer and went into remission, he probably won’t be able to be a firefighter again, whether it be from lasting damage from the treatment or the risk of smoke inhalation. 

Buck groaned at the thought, burying his head into his pillow and pulling the blankets over his entire body. 

“Buck, You alright?” Maddie’s voice startled him enough to pull the blankets down and sit up slightly, neck just barely lifting off his pillow. Maddie made her way over to her younger brother, sitting at the head of the bed and running a hand through his disheveled hair. “What’s going on?” 

Buck leaned into his sister's side until she got the hint and laid fully on the bed, his head resting sideways in her lap. “I’m just thinking.” Buck said, closing his eyes. 

“About what?” 

‘About how it was just supposed to be a cough— about how I’m never going to be a firefighter again— about everything and nothing.’ Buck thought.

“About the future.” He decided on because that’s what it boils down to, right? Whether or not he has a future— not even one of his own choosing, but if he even has a path ahead of him. 

Buck’s used to near death experiences, having faced many in this year alone, but most of those experiences were of his own violation. He chose to put himself in that situation, to gamble with his life and hope he came out the other side—

But he’s never faced something so uncertain as this. 

“You can’t think like that Buck, you have to try and stay in the now as much as you can, alright? You’ll burn yourself out if you don’t. You can’t let yourself get caught up in the what if’s.” Maddie said, still running a steady hand through his curls. He didn’t bother with the hair gel this morning, so the ends were curling up in puffy little toughs of blonde, and Maddie loved it. She loved it when Buck left his hair free and natural, making him look younger and more like the boy she grew up raising instead of the man she saw before her. 

Maddie leaned down and placed a long kiss on her brother's temple, bringing her legs up slightly so she could cradle his head. “I love you Evan.” She whispered into his hair. 

“I love you too.” 

—

They stayed like that for a while, curled up in each other’s hold until there was a soft knock at the door, the pair already knowing how it was. 

Buck was honestly surprised it took them this long to come knocking at the door, but he suspected it had something to do with Chim trying to give them some alone time together. 

“How about you stay here while I go greet them? You can go back to sleep if you want; no one will mind.” Maddie said, Buck nodding in agreement because he had absolutely no desire to get out of bed. 

He watched as Maddie softly closed the door behind her before burying back under the covers, deciding that he could try laying on his stomach. 

Buck wasn’t sure if it was the position he was in or the fact that It’s been over a half an hour since his last coughing fit, but he started trying to expel his lungs from his body once again, the tension headache coming back in full force. He hacked deeply into his pillow, muffling the sound to not only make sure Maddie didn’t come rushing back in, but to also try and dampen the pounding in his right temple. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again, deciding that he’ll take a quick nap to gather enough energy to make it to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. 

He was just nodding off, head smashed into his pillow and blanket pulled up to his ears when the door slowly creeped open, a figure stepping in before closing the room off once again. Buck sighed, thinking that Maddie was once again making sure he was okay when he felt the bed dip on the empty side, shoes hitting the floor as a body laid down next to him, mirroring his position. 

Buck turned his head, not at all surprised to see Eddie, arms crossed over an extra pillow and staring right back at him. 

“Hi.” Buck said, voice stretchy and barely audible, but Eddie heard him nonetheless. The older man shifted closer, just enough so that their elbows and knees knocked together, bumping his arm just slightly to get him to laugh. Buck did, a lopsided grin taking over the visible part of his face. 

“Hey.” 

Eddie looked his best friend over, eyes racking over what he could see and slowly let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Chimney was right, Buck’s okay. In this moment, lying next to him and watching as a smile took over his features, he was okay. 

Eddie was just about to say something, his mouth poised with a question when Buck cut him off, pushing up on to his elbows and letting his hair fall into his eyes.

“Will you come with me to get my car?” He said, causing Eddie to laugh, snorting into his pillow before swinging his legs out of bed. 

“You're full of surprises, you know that?” Eddie said as he slipped on his shoes, walking towards the door and gesturing for Buck to go first. 

Buck slipped under Eddie's arm with a grin, a jump in his step that even he didn’t expect, previous exhaustion and ach forgotten.

Eddie just put him into the best of moods. It didn’t matter what he was feeling or how crappy his day was going— and today had been really shitty— Eddie had the uncanny ability to put a smile back on his face. 

The only thing that could make it better was if Christopher was here, but that kid was too observant for his own good. He’d take one look at ‘his Buck’ and immediately know something was wrong. 

The pair made their way out of the room and down the hall together, peeking into the living room as they rounded the corner. The whole team plus Athena and Maddie were lounging around the space, cups filled with tea and the box of chocolate chip cookies Maddie usually kept on hand sitting on the coffee table. Each head turned at the boys arrival, eyes taking in their youngest teammate, but Buck was too busy looking for his beat up vans to notice. He spotted them next to the door and quickly put them on, turning to face the group once he was ready. 

“Hey guys.” Buck said, and Bobby was up in an instant, Athena just a step behind him. Buck went to reassure the couple, tell them that he was okay and there was no reason to worry, but Bobby had gathered him up before he could even begin, tucking his head into his shoulder, holding him like a parent would hold their child. 

Buck blinked back the tears that formed in his eyes, whispering into his Captains— father figures— neck, “It’s going to be okay.” 

Bobby choked out a laugh, eyes red and grip tight. “I think I’m supposed to be saying that to you.” He said as Buck pulled back, wiping discreetly at his eyes and clearing his throat. 

“Yeah maybe, but I think you needed to hear it more than I do right now.” Buck smiled, grinning past the haze of tears and flowing emotions. 

Athena wrapped her arms around the young man, pulling him down until his head was resting on her shoulder, whispering so just he could hear, “Well, I think everyone could do with a little reassurance right now.” She ran a hand through his hair, kissing his temple and bringing the tears back in full force. “You’re going to be alright Buckaroo.” She felt Buck sniff as he tried to hold in his tears, hiding his face into her shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Athena whispering soft reassurances into the young man’s ear until Buck pulled away. He gave his pseudo mom a smile, grasping her forearms, releasing her only after taking a deep breath. He took a step back, and tuned to Eddie, finding the older man already looking at him. 

“Eddie and I are going to go get my car from the hospital, maybe go for a drive or something.” Buck said, already moving to open the front door, Eddie two steps behind him.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Bobby asked. 

Buck shook his head, “no that’s okay, Bobby. I think we’re just going to—“ Buck stopped suddenly, an idea hitting him that had him grinning from ear to ear—“wait change of plans, I just got a really awesome idea. Are you guys planning on staying for a while longer?” Buck asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet and reaching back to grab his best friend’s forearm. 

“We can stay for a few more hours. What’s going on Buck; what’s your idea?” Hen said. She was smiling despite the worry in her tone. 

“It’s a surprise, just promise you’ll be here when we get back, alright? It’s nothing bad I swear.” With that, Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him out the door, almost skipping to the man’s truck in his new found excitement. 

Eddie waited until Buck was strapped into the car before turning to him, his own smile coming out at his friends' excitement. “Do I get to know what the surprise is?” 

Buck looked at the older man, his grin slipping a little. Eddie’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “What’s wrong? You were so excited a minute ago.” He reached out and put a hand on Bucks forearm, rubbing softly. 

“I was doing some research about chemo last night, and one of the side effects is a complete loss of appetite. I figured today and tomorrow are going to be my last days before everything changes, so I’m going to treat everyone to their favorite foods.” Buck's smile didn’t quite meet his eyes, and that caused Eddie’s frown to deepen even more. He turned until he was completely facing the younger man, resting a hand on the back of his neck like he knew he liked to make sure he had his attention. 

“Are you listening, Buck? This is really important.” Eddie waited until Bucks eyes met his, his heart sinking at the tears that filled them. “Yes, chemo is going to suck, and a lot of things are going to change, but even more things are going to stay the same, Evan. You're always going to have Chis and I, the rest of the team, your sister, and Athena. That’s never going to change. You’ll always have a place on the team by our sides. It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to beat this and come back, your spot will always be open, and it will always be yours.” Eddie took a breath, squeezing Buck's neck again and pulling him in until their foreheads touched. 

“I’m scared Eddie.” Buck whispered, face scrunching up in an effort to not cry. Eddie shushed him, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his neck to get him to relax. 

“I know you are, and that’s okay. I’m scared too Evan, I’m terrified even, but I have to believe that everything’s going to be okay in the end. You’re going to be okay. You have to be, I won’t accept anything else.” Eddie places a quick kiss on Buck's temple before he could change his mind, resting their foreheads back together and stealing his nerves. 

“You know I love you, right?” He whispered, voice barely there but defending in the tight confinement of his truck. Buck’s eyes remained closed, but a soft gentle smile over took his frown, eyes filing with tears for a completely different reason. He opened them for a moment, eyes swimming despite his grin. 

“I love you too.” 

Eddie took a deep breath, leaning forward slowly, giving Buck enough time to pull back if he wanted to. Buck didn’t, moving forward just enough to close the distance between them, their lips barely brushing. 

The kiss was short and sweet, barely there despite the fireworks in their chests, and the tingling in their lips. Buck smiled, a real genuine smile before leaning back in his seat, taking Eddie’s freehand in his and giving a gentle squeeze. 

“You always know how to make me feel better.” Buck said, eyes never leaving his partners, and all Eddie could feel was the warmth that traveled through him, and the hand in his. 

Eddie turned back around in his seat, starting up the car and slowly pulling away from the curve, making his way towards the nearest grocery store. 

There was no rush, Eddie going below the speed limit for the first time since he got his license, despite their friends waiting on them. 

No, they wanted to make this moment last for as long as they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I love reading comments and kudos always make me smile. 
> 
> See you guys next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter, but I like it. Sorry for the wait, life is crazy right now but I’m determined to continue this fic. Next update might be a minute as I figure out where to go next, so bare with me. 
> 
> As always, I love reading comments and kudos brighten my day, so feel free to pop one down below. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Buck and Eddie trailed through the grocery store, a hand on the cart each and throwing in anything that looked even remotely appealing, neither of them paying much mind to the cost. 

Buck threw in a pack of Chim’s favorite chips while Eddie went and searched for the chocolate he knew Hen preferred. Bobby and Athena were a little harder to choose for, as they both tended to lean towards something home cooked rather than store bought. Buck remembered seeing Athena snacking on peanut M&M’s before, so he threw in a pack of those as well as some skittles, because why not. 

Their cart was half way full when Buck felt the tightness in his chest return, and he’s throat started to tickle again, and he couldn’t stop the cough that bursted out of him, having just enough time to bring up his elbow and not hack all over the bread aisle. Eddie’s hand was resting on his back instantly, rubbing gently, concerned once again.

“You alright, Buck?” Eddie asked, knowing that this was the new normal, but he couldn’t help but be worried. The coughs sounded painful, coming from deep within the man’s chest and almost getting stuck at the end. Buck hunched over slightly, willing his lungs to stop throwing a fit and let him breath. He stood up straighter after a few minutes, taking deep breaths to regan the breath that he had lost. 

“I’m alright— I’m good.” His voice was crackley, like he was talking around a pack of pop rocks, but he didn’t sound as winded as he did a minute ago, so Eddie let it go. He kept a firm hand on Buck’s back, feeling the need for contact despite walking right next to the man, shoulders bumping every other step. 

“Alright, just let me know if you need to take a break.” Buck just nodded, making his way towards the soda aisle. 

“Pepsi or coke?” Buck asked, leaning down to grab whatever his partner preferred. 

“I’ve always liked coke better, but I’ll drink whatever.” Eddie said, throwing in a six pack of sprite and Diet Coke so they had some options. Buck put a pack of coke into the bottom of the cart, doing a mental checklist to make sure he got everything he wanted to get. Eddie waited for him to nod before turning the cart towards the registers, grabbing Bucks hand with his free one. 

They started loading things onto the belt, realizing just how much stuff they were getting, but neither of them cared. 

This was supposed to be a fun night with their family, eating junk and laughing too hard at bad rom-coms, because neither of them knew what tomorrow would bring. 

Eddie placed his card into the chip reader before Buck could stop him, glaring into his eyes and almost daring him to say something about it. Buck pouted slightly, hand still gripping his own credit card. 

“This was supposed to be my treat, Eddie.” Buck whispered, walking right up to him and placing a hand on his arm. “— and you shouldn’t be spending this much money on my stupid idea— let me pay for it.” Buck pleaded, knowing that Eddie sometimes struggled in the financial area, and Buck didn’t want to do anything that added to his stress. 

The transaction was already complete though, and Eddie couldn’t help but grin. “And I decided to treat you. Don’t worry about what I decide to spend money on, Buck. I wanted to do this.” Eddie said, nodded at the cashier and started loading the bags into their cart. 

“But it was just a stupid idea—“ Eddie cut him off with a look, eyebrows raised. 

“This wasn’t a stupid idea, Evan; this was a great idea. The whole team needed this, so let’s load these bags up and go get your car so we can get back to them, alright?” Eddie said. Buck still didn’t look convinced, but nodded and took the last of the bags from the loading area. 

They made their way to the truck, Eddie bumping shoulders with Buck every so often to get him to laugh. The younger man didn’t disappoint, cracking a grin every time their skin brushed. 

Eddie loaded the bags into the back seat quickly, gesturing for Buck to get in while he put the cart back. 

They drove him in comfortable silence, hands intertwined on the center console, heads bobbing along with the soft music coming from the radio. 

Eddie pulled silently into the ER parking lot, coming to a rolling stop right next to Buck’s car.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive back home by yourself?” Eddie asked, bringing the younger man’s hand up to brush against his lips because he could do that now. He could grab Buck’s hand if he wanted to, and kiss him if the moment felt right. The thought brought a gentle smile to his lips, eyes shining just a little more then they were a second ago. 

“I’ll be fine Eddie; you worry almost as much as Maddie does.” Buck laughed, clicking his seat belt off and leaning over until he could reach Eddie’s cheek, placing a quick kiss into his skin before hopping out of his truck with a smile. “I’ll follow you back to Maddie and Chim’s place.” He left with one final smile. 

Eddie waited until he was securely in his car before pulling away, checking his rearview mirror every couple of minutes to make sure he was still following behind him. 

The ride was quiet, and gave Eddie plenty of time to think, which was both a blessing and a curse. 

One: Buck has cancer, which fully hasn’t set in yet, and he will no doubt panic about later on tonight behind a closed door.

And two: he and Buck were no longer best friend’s— they were something more. He wasn’t sure what that was yet, but he would take whatever he could get when it comes to the man he has fallen for. 

He realized quickly that the feelings he had for Buck weren’t purely platonic, and knew that if the opportunity were ever to arise he would jump at the chance at being something more, but would never initiate that change himself. Until now. 

Now, everything was different, and everyone was trying so hard to make it seem like nothing had changed, but things have changed. Things will continue to change and Eddie has two options: dig his feet in and refuse to accept anything was wrong and act like everything was normal, or try to outway the bad changes with good ones—

And he thought this was a pretty good change. 

He pulled up to Chim and Madddie’s house, jumping out of his truck as soon as it was parked and walked over to where Buck was just pulling in. He opened his door for him, reaching out a hand to haul him with a smile. 

“Why thank you.” Buck laughed, pocketing his keys and rounding the front of his car. He popped Eddie’s trunk open and started shouldering plastic bags. Eddie quickly walked up to him and took most of the load he was carrying, grabbing the rest of the bags in the back without much trouble. 

“You know I can carry these, right?” Buck asked, eyebrows raised as he shut the trunk with a soft slam. Eddie shrugged, walking slowly up to the front porch. 

“I know you can, but I’ve got them. Just open the door for me.” Eddie laughed, walking sideways up the front steps in order to fit all the bags he had in his hold. Buck rolled his eyes, jogging ahead and shouldering the door open with his spear key. 

He walked inside, every head once again turning at his presence, but he was too busy laughing at the man behind him. Eddie got stuck halfway through the threshold, one of the plastic bags snagging on the door knob and tugging him back slightly. He looked up at Buck’s amused grin.

“I’ve got this.” Eddie huffed, pulling until the bag was free and stumbling right into the living room, the plastic ripping at it's seems their haul all over the floor. Eddie just shrugged and proceeded to drop everything, shaking out his wrist before climbing over all the bags to get to Buck’s side. “See?” 

“I’m not sure this is the definition of ‘got this’ Eds.” Buck laughed, a hand over his mouth to muffle his amusement. 

“There inside, aren’t they?” Buck lost it at that, doubling over and laughing that the only thing escaping him was a little cloaked over squeak. He stood, grin wide and face flushed with amusement, bracing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder so he didn’t fall over from the rush. 

“Aw man, today’s been a crazy day, like the craziest day of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever cried and laughed so much in one day before.” Eddie just smiled at him, pushing him back into the living room and onto the couch.

“You boys look like you had fun.” Athena said, walking in from the kitchen, two cups of tea in hand, which she promptly pushed into each man’s hands. Eddie smiled in thanks, taking a sip before gathering up all the bags once more and putting them in a pile on the living room table. 

“Can everyone come in here for a second?” Buck said, moving forward and rummaging through the bags, moving items around until each bag was filled and designated to each one of his friends, with one community bag in the middle. 

Buck waited until everyone was sitting around the living room in an almost circle. He passed Hen her bag first, reaching over and sliding a bag towards his sister and so forth until everyone had their treats.

“So I know this is kind of stupid, but I was reading up on—like chemo therepy and saw that one of the side effects was a loss of appetite and nausea. I wasn’t sure when the doc was going to have me start, so I figured tonight would be a good night to just eat and have a movie night with everyone.” Buck said, smiling sheepishly, eyes down cast like he thought they were going to reject his movie night. Hen grinned immediately, flopping down into the empty seat beside Chim, squealing when she saw a glimpse of her favorite chocolate. 

“You know me so well, Buckaroo, and look— you even got my favorite chips. You spoil me.” He gushed, ripping into the tin foil bag. Chim had a similar reaction to his best friend, gasping like he thought Buck didn’t know his favorite snack, and shoving a handful of junk into his mouth before the movie had even been picked. 

Athena stood behind Bucks seat at the couch, leaning down and whispering her thanks before placing a loud popping kiss on his cheek. Buck immediately went red, laughing as Athena continued to play with his hair, flicking his ear softly for good measure.

Bobby just leaned against the dining room table, rifling through his given bag and pulling out a pack of twizzlers, smiling as he bit off the end of one. 

He was content to just watch Hen and Chim argue over what movie to watch first, Athena being the mediator as always and suggesting a mutual movie she knew they all enjoyed. 

Buck looked over the back of the couch towards his captain, getting up and making his way to the dining room when he caught the older man’s eye. He leaned against the table, mirroring his stance with a small grin. Bobby offered the bag of twizzlers with a nod, again, perfectly content with standing side by side with his pseudo son. 

Buck chewed on the candy quietly, his mind running with something he’d been wanting to bring up since the news, but not knowing exactly how. 

“Something on your mind?” Bobby asked, bumping his shoulder gently into Buck’s causing the younger man to grin, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He’s brows were scrunched, eyes down cast and a clear storm going on in his head. “What’s going on Buck?” 

“I’ve been debating calling my parents and telling them, but I don’t think they’d answer, or care enough to actually do something.” Buck whispered, insecurity taking over his stance as he thought about how absent his parents were. Maddie pretty much raised him despite it not being her job, pulling him out of Pennsylvania as soon as he graduated high school and setting up a new life for them outside of their parents reach. They used some of their parents' money to buy a house, a final ‘gift’ from them before they completely cut them out of their lives. 

“When’s the last time you spoke to your parents?” Bobby asked, hands clenched tightly crossed his chest. He’s never met the Buckley parents before, but he knew one thing for certain; they didn’t deserve to have Buck and Maddie as kids. 

Buck snorted, thinking back to the last time he heard his mother’s voice, finding it distorted with age and unrecognizable. “I think I got a phone call from them when I graduated high school, and I can’t even remember the last time I saw them in person. They were never there growing up. Every time I imagine my mom, I see Maddie because she was the one who raised me. She could have stuck me with a nanny or even dropped me off at an orphanage and left, but she didn’t. She kept me by her side for my entire life, and got me out of that empty mansion. I don’t know where or who I’d be with her.” Buck said, whipping away a tear with the back of his hand before recrossing his arms. 

Bobby slid closer, throwing an arm around the younger man’s shoulders and pulling him in close. “You know I see you as my own son, right? Not just as someone under my command, but as my family and I’d do anything to make sure you were okay. You, May and Harry are all my children, and I know Athena feels the same way.”

“You bet your ass she does.” Athena said, coming up on the other side of Buck and wrapping an arm around his waist. “I could feel the tension surrounding you guys from the couch. This is supposed to be a good night with family, so let’s set the tough conversations aside for the next few hours and focus on laughing, not crying—alright?” Athena grabbed a hand in each one of hers and pulled her boys back over to the living room, pushing them down onto the couch with a satisfied grin. She squeezed herself into the empty cousin next to her husband, putting her legs into his lap and reaching blindly into the community bag for something to snack on. “Have you two decided on a movie yet?” Athena directed towards the still bickering pair of paramedics, getting a sheepish grin from each in return.

“We’ve narrowed it down to Marvel movies, now we just have to decide which one.” Chim said, flipping through Disney Plus and the various other streaming platforms he has subscriptions to. 

“Buck’s favorite is Spider-Man Homecoming.” Maddie Chimney in, feet propped up in her boyfriend's lap, a bag on M&M’s balanced on her chest. She glanced over at her brother, grinning as he nodded with a soft smile, looking the most content she’d ever seen him, sandwiched between Bobby and Athena. Eddie was sitting in the lone recliner, legs propped up and a blanket over his lap, a lollipop stick hanging from his teeth. 

“It’s true, he got Chris hooked on all the superhero movies; I think they’ve watched Spider-Man at least four times this month alone.” Eddie laughed, eyes sparkling with mirth and a loving gaze directed at his best friend. 

“Then put the movie on so we can watch it, hmm? The nights’ still young but I have a feeling we’ll be losing some people soon if we don’t hurry.” Hen said, body leaned all the way forward so she could see Buck, who was rapidly blinking his eyes with a dopey grin. Athena chuckled and tucked him under her arm, patting his wild hair down and leaving a warm hand on his forehead. Buck took the coddling without complaint, scorching down till his head could rest comfortably, a blanket tucked tightly around his form. 

He looked a second away from passing out, but no one could really blame him. Everyone knew without a doubt that the young man didn’t get any sleep last night, and that toppled with the anxiety that he knew this day would bring, it was no wonder his eyes were dropping the moment he got comfortable and warm. 

Chim put the movie on low, looking quite exhausted himself, Maddie tucked under his arm, eyes already closed, content to just relax and decompress after the day they’ve all had. 

It was either a unanimous decision or a joint sugar crash, but everybody slowly nodded off, one after another, sleepy smiles replacing hushed conversations. 

They stayed like that for the rest of the evening, cuddling together, soothing each other’s worries by just being a comforting presence even to the subconscious. 

They had no idea what tomorrow would bring, but they’d make it though as long as they had a steady hand on their shoulder, and a fraction of hope they all held for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ya next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry about the wait, but the next chapter is here!! I really hope you enjoy, and please tell me what you think, and what you want to see next! 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and my unreliable updating schedule.

The morning had been hectic to say the least for the Buckley siblings, getting up early to go back to the hospital only to learn that the doctors wanted to start the first session of chemotherapy right away. 

So there Buck sat in the oncology ward, feet propped up in a recliner while Maddie frantically tucked a blanket around his waist and pulled items from a bag he didn’t even know she had brought. 

“Are you warm enough? I bought some saltines for you to snack on if you got hungry, and a couple bottles of water cause I read the chemo makes you really thirsty— oh and I grabbed your headphones for you in case you wanted to listen to music—“ Maddie went on and on, getting more flustered and worried by the minute. Buck would have laughed if he didn’t feel so tense himself. 

“Maddie, you've got to calm down or you're just going to freak me out even more.” Buck said, clenching and unclenching his free arm, absolutely refusing to look down at the very big needle stuck in his arm. 

In all honesty, he thought he’d have more time to prepare himself before being shoved into a chair by a nurse with said very big needle, but his doctor and care team stressed that it would do only harm if they waited to start the therapy. 

“I’m sorry— I’m sorry. I know I’m not helping but I’m just nervous, which is ridiculous cause I’m not even the one in the chair, but I can’t help it.” Maddie took her little brother’s free hand in both of hers, clutching him like it was the only thing keeping her grounded, and Buck let her. 

He was feeling pretty detached himself, so he latched on to her hand and leaned his head back and tried not to think— not about the tumor, or how the hard squeaky leather was uncomfortable on his skin, and certainly not about the drugs slowly dripping into his veins. 

“It’s fine Mads, but we’ve got to try and relax or we’re not going to make it through the next two hours, let alone the next four months.” Buck laughed, opening his eyes just enough to reach his sisters eyes, seeing a soft smile similar to his own. 

“We’re going to be fine, we just have to remember that for the first time in our lives, it’s not just us anymore. We’ve got a whole family behind us just itching to jump in and help, and we just got to let them.” Maddie nodded, like she was trying to convince herself of the bond they had with the rest of the team and not just Buck. 

And, it was true. When they called the team early that morning to let them know that the doctors wanted to start the chemo today, they literally had to convince them not to drop everything and abandon their shifts. Eddie took the most convincing, only passified with the promise of constant updates and being able to visit after shift. 

Buck relaxed once more, leaning back all the way until his was practically vertical, Maddie leaning her head down on his arm rest and running a slow hand through his hair. 

“Try to get some sleep, alright? It’ll make the time go by faster, and I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Maddie said, knowing that her brother would nod off easily if she kept playing with his hair softly. She waited until she was positive he was sound asleep before moving, leaning up with a soft groan, her back protesting the bent over position she held for almost thirty minutes. 

Maddie pulled her phone out, not surprised to see a flood of texts from the team, asking for updates and checking in on them. She was just about to reply to the group chat when her phone started buzzing softly with an incoming video call. She accepted it quickly, plugging in Bucks headphones so he wouldn’t be woken by the noise. 

Chimney’s face popped up on her screen first, the whole team filtering in behind him. 

“Hey Maddie, how's it going?” Chim asked, Bobby and Eddie right beside him. 

“It’s going alright, I just got Buck to go to sleep, so hopefully he stays out until the treatments done, but we still have another—“ Maddie paused to look down at her watch, sighing when she realized they had at least another hour plus the tests they have to after—“ hour left and then the tests to make sure everything is good before we can head back home.” Maddie did her best attempt at a convincing and well put together smile, but she knew before she even tried that it fell short. 

“We get off in an hour, so we can meet you at the hospital.” Eddie said, and Maddie knew that there was going to be no convincing him otherwise. 

There was something different about Bucks and Eddie’s relationship, and she couldn’t quite place what changed. They were all a little over protective of Buck right now, but Eddie took the need to be around him and know what was happening to the extreme. Maybe it was just the dad in him wanting to take care of the most important people in his life— Bobby was doing the same exact thing, their fridge could attest to that. 

Maddie was just about to reassure the man for the hundredth time that he didn’t need to come rushing over- that they were okay when she heard a soft grunt beside her. She turned, the phone inadvertently panning as well to see Buck shifting around in his recliner, face scrunching up slightly and his hand coming up to scratch at his wrist, the needle obviously causing him some discomfort. Maddie quickly intercepted his hand, grabbing it in her own and shushing him until he fell back into a light sleep. 

She looked back at the phone only to see clenched jaws and worried eyes. 

It was hard to see, the clear discomfort, the pale complexion Buck had already taken on, the needle and pole looming over their heads. 

“He’s okay.” Maddie whispered, standing up from her brother’s side for the first time since the session began and making her way across the room to stand by the window. 

“We should be there with you guys.” Eddie said, looking ready to bolt without a second thought.

“There’s not much you could do even if you were here; it’s really just a lot of waiting and grabbing ice chips from down the hall. We’re going to finish up here and I’ll take him home where he will no doubt collapse the second he gets through the door. The doctor said tonight should be okay, but tomorrow might suck so I’ll feed him a big dinner and see how he feels in the morning.” Maddie said, leaning against the window, looking exhausted despite her best efforts to look put together. 

“Then we’ll come over tonight and help with dinner. I’m off tomorrow and I know you have to work, so I’ll drop Chris off at school and be over in the morning before you go.” Eddie said, causing Maddie to smile graciously, but also sigh because she still wasn’t used to accepting help when it was offered. 

“You don’t have to do that Eddie.” She whispered. 

“Of course I do, and I am. You're not alone in this Maddie; you have us to lean on even when you don’t reach out your hand. Let us help.” Eddie almost pleaded, and Maddie just couldn’t say no— not that she really wanted to to begin with. 

“Thank you Eddie.” Eddie nodded, satisfied with her acceptance and his role in Bucks recovery. 

“And I’m sending over some homemade bone broth that I made yesterday, that should be easy enough on his stomach while giving him the nutrients he needs.” Bobby said, and Maddie and Chimney both laughed. 

“Cap I don’t think our fridge can fit much more of your stress cooking, we’ve haven’t even got through your last round of dinners yet.” Chimney snorted, Bobby putting a hand on his shoulder with a shrug. 

“Let me worry about the meals for a while, alright? You're doing me a favor, I was one lasagna away from sleeping on the couch.” The Captain said. It was no secret that he stressed baked, just like it was widely known that Athena could only take so many soups and exotic pasta dishes before she snapped. 

Maddie smiled, looking over at her still sleeping brother before telling her boyfriend that they would see him when he got off, and thanking Bobby for yet another meal in her fridge. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then Eddie.” Eddie just nodded again, reminding her to text him if she needed anything, before Maddie ended the call. She stuffed her phone back into her pocket, standing slowly and sitting back at her brother’s side. 

Buck stirred this time, blue eyes blinking open with a breathy sigh. Maddie ran a quick hand through his hair to let him know that she was there.

“Hey there.” She smiled, leaning down so she could catch Bucks wondering eyes, still clouded over with sleep. He scooted up in the chair, stretching out as much as he could. 

“Hey.” 

“Did you sleep well?” She asked, readjusting the tubbing where it had twisted in his sleep. 

“I slept alright, how long was I out for?” Buck asked, leaning up and pushing the foot rest back in. 

“Only about an hour, the nurse should be here soon to unhook you and take some tests, then we can head back home. You maybe want to stop for a smoothie?” Maddie said, busing herself by repacking the large duffel bag and making sure she had everything. Buck watched her, closing his eyes once more when he realized how exhausted he really was. 

“You alright?” Maddie came back to his side and rubbed a hand up and down his arm. 

“I’m fine, Mads. I’m just exhausted.” 

“You can go back to sleep if you want, I’ll wake you up after we’re cleared to go home.” Buck wanted to say no, prove that he was alright and alleviate some of her worry, but his eyes were already drooping shut. He nodded without much complaint, only grumbling slightly when Maddie had to help him recline the chair back. 

“Thanks.” He whispered. 

“Of course, now go back to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right here.” 

“You always are.” Buck sounded half asleep, just barely holding on to the threads of consciousness. Maddie leaned down and kissed his temple, rubbing his forehead aan smiling when she felt his muscles relax fully. 

“And I always will be.” 

They stayed like that for another few minutes, Buck snoring softly while Maddie checked her emails. She quickly looked up when she heard a knock on the wall, expecting to see the doctor but instead Athena was stepping into the room. The older woman smiled, making her way quickly over to Bucks' side and placing a motherly hand to his forehead, brushing back his unkempt curls.

“How are you guys doing?” She asked, eyes never leaving Buck’s sleeping form. Maddie took a deep breath and relaxed for the first time since they arrived at the hospital. She didn’t want to admit it, but it was nice to have someone at her side while she stood vigil at her brother’s. 

“We’re doing good, I think. Buck slept through a good part of the session, so that’s good, and doesn't seem to be in too much discomfort.” Maddie said. 

“And when should the effects of the treatment start to kick in?” 

Maddie sighed, “the doctor said that tonight shouldn’t be too bad, but the chemo would really start to kick in tomorrow and over the next few days. He’s on a one-to-two block schedule where for the first week he has chemo Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and then a rest period for two weeks. The doctor said that the first day isn’t going to be bad but the next two sessions are going to suck, then the following week he’s going to most likely be really sick. The third week he’ll start to feel better, but then they repeat the cycle over again.” Maddie whispered, almost like she was afraid Buck was going to hear despite being sound asleep. 

Athena hummed, taking a seat on the boys opposite side and keeping a soft hand on his cheek. 

Athena told herself that she wasn’t going to come, that the Buckley siblings could handle themselves and didn’t need her hovering over their shoulders—and not because she herself was scared. This was her child, blood related or not, this was her son and the image of him pale and sick, with tubes stuck in his wrist was more than she could imagine. 

But now, sitting by his side, she realized this was where she needed to be—this is where they needed her to be. Maddie looked just as exhausted as her brother, a second away from falling asleep while standing, and Athena decided right then and there that she was going to take care of both of them. That she was going to step up in a way that their parents never did. 

Maddie looked over at Athena and ducked her head, tears filling her eyes without notice. Athena wasted no time in gathering her up in a tight hug, pulling her down into the crook of her neck and smoothing back her hair.

Athena shushed her quickly, rocking slightly, much like she did when May or Harry were upset. 

“I’m sorry—“ Maddie sobbed, trying to pull away slightly, but Athena wasn’t having it. 

“Now I know you’re not apologizing for something you can’t control, Madeline Buckley. You’ve been so strong for your brother for so many years, now it’s time for you to lean on someone else. You have to know that Bobby and I aren’t just there for Buck; we’re there for you too, honey. I’ve got you.” Athena closed her eyes and held the young woman for as long as she needed, not pulling back until she was sure the tears had stopped. Maddie’s face was flushed red from crying as she pulled back, grabbing a handful of tissues from the box and blotting her face dry. She looked over at Buck once more to see he was still sound asleep, head tucked to the side and blanket securely tucked around his shoulders. 

“How are you doing?” Athena asked, leading her to an empty chair. Maddie shrugged, ripping the tissue up in her hand absentmindedly as she tried to regain her composure. 

“I’m not the one in that chair.” 

“—But you are the one standing beside it. No one can walk into this and leave it without giving something of themselves first. That’s the thing about cancer; it takes from everybody.” Athena said, “I literally had to convince myself to come here, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was scared. I didn’t know how I would react to seeing him in that chair, but the second I did I realized that I needed to be here for the both of you.” Athena took Maddie’s hand in hers—

“It’s going to be okay.” 

The doctor came in then, unhooking Buck from the IV and doing his final tests without even causing him to stir. Athena was the one to wake him up, running a hand through his hair and softly saying his name until his eyes blinked open. 

“‘Thena?” Buck slurred, still half asleep, head tilted slightly to the side.

“That’s right Buckaroo, I’m here to take you and Maddie back home for some dinner. You can rest in the spare room, alright?” Athena slowly got him to his feet, supporting his arm while Maddie grabbed their bag. Buck was clearly disoriented, stumbling slightly on the door frame and having to pause for a second to get his balance back. 

“Where’s Bobby?” He asked, slowly stepping into the elevator and leaning back on the far wall. 

“He’s still at work honey, but he’s going to meet us back at home in time for dinner. How are you feeling?” 

“Kinda dizzy. Tired.” Bucks eyes were closed while he took in a few deep breaths, only coughing slightly on the exhale. 

“I think that’s because you were sleeping for so long. Your doctor gave me some anti-nausea medicine for you if you need it” Maddie said. In truth, the doctor had given her a whole bag of medicines for Buck to take, some daily and some just to take as needed. 

Buck just hummed, letting Athena lead him to the car blindly. He sunk into the front seat and curled in on himself before either of them could click his seatbelt on. Athena strapped in him quickly, realizing that he was in no shape to do it himself. 

“Do you want to follow me back to the house?” Athena said, rounding to the drivers side and opening the door. 

“Yeah.” Maddie leaned down until she was eye level with buck, giving his hair a final toss before pulling back. 

“I’ll meet you back at the house alright?” Maddie wasn’t expecting an answer, but Buck mumbled out a sleepy goodbye. 

The ride back was quiet, with Buck slowly falling asleep and Athena avoiding as many pot holes as she could to not jostle him. 

She glanced back at the boy next to her every couple of minutes, noticing the small frown he was trying to hide.

“Buck, You alright?” She asked, already pulling the car to the side and unclicking both of their seatbelts. Athena recognized that frown anywhere. She jumped out the car quickly and opened Buck’s door right before he leaned over and threw-up everything he had eaten the last few hours. 

Athena leaned down and braced an arm over his chest to make sure he didn’t fall, shushing him when he started to cough. 

“It’s alright Evan, it’s alright. Just let it out.” The coughing led to more gagging and then he was throwing up all over again. Athena kept a careful watch on his breathing, not liking the rattle she heard with every breath he took. 

It took Buck a minute to catch his breath, leaning back up as far as he could when he was sure the nausea had momentarily stopping rolling in the pit of his stomach.

Athena hauled him up the rest of the way and leaned his seat back slightly. She took a couple tissues from the box she always kept in the car and wiped his mouth for him, running a hand back threw his now sweaty hair. She felt his forehead and neck quickly, going as far as to place their foreheads together to make sure he didn’t have a fever, letting out a breath of relief when his temperature felt normal. 

“Okay, Okay Buckaroo. It’s okay, just take a few deep breaths, alright?” Athena hummed. 

“Sorry.” Buck gasped, tears filling his eyes despite his best attempts to keep them back. Athena tisked and just wiped them away, rubbing a thumb against his cheek bone and tilting his head up to meet her eye.

“What is with you Buckley’s and apologizing for things you can’t control, huh? You're human, you're allowed to be messy and emotional. No ones going to fault you for that.” Athena made her way back to the driver's seat, turning sideways to face the boy instead of turning on the engine. “Are you going to be alright for the rest of the ride home?” Athena said, pulling her purse into her lap and rummaging through for the pack of gum she always had on hand. She passed him a stick before turning completely. 

“I’ll be alright, I don’t think I have anything left anyways.” Buck stuck the gum in his mouth, glad to have something to mask the sour taste in his mouth.

“Well just tell me if that changes, alright?” Athena said, watching him curl up into a tight ball once again. 

For such a large man, Buck really knew how to make himself small. 

Athena was positive Buck was asleep by the time she pulled into her driveway, wondering just how she was going to get him inside, when she noticed a very familiar truck parked across the street. She knew Eddie wouldn’t be able to stay away. 

There was something going on between them, and she had a pretty good guess as to what it was. 

Said man came jogging out the door before she could dwell much farther, stopping right outside the passenger door and gently clicking the door open. He looked at Athena for a second, catching just a moment of her mischief before she schooled her expression. 

“You got him, right?” 

“Always, did he do okay on the ride over?” Eddie asked, already pulling Buck’s seatbelt off and leaning him against his chest so he didn’t tumble out the open door.

“He threw up a couple times, but that could have been car sickness or nerves, not necessarily from the chemo. You good to bring him inside?” Eddie just hummed, attention fully on the man before him. 

He didn’t even notice Athena go inside.

Buck stirred some, pulling back just enough to see who he was leaning up against. 

“Eddie?” He asked, voice rough and slurred with sleep. 

“I’m right here Buck, how are you feeling?” Eddie asked, rubbing a hand through his hair and keeping him balanced against his front. Buck leaned into him and closed his eyes once more, sucking in deep breaths. 

“I’m tired, and nauseous.” He whispered, voiced muffled from the cotton of Eddie’s t-shirt. 

“Let’s just sit here for a minute then, alright? We’re in no rush. Just take your time.” Eddie said, leaning down and placing a kiss into Bucks untamed curls. He kneeled down until he was crouched just below eye level, leaning in and placing a gentle and slow kiss to the younger man’s lips. 

Cause he could do that now, whenever he wanted. 

Buck smiled, leaning their heads together. “I’m okay, we can head inside.” He said, already pulling his legs from the car and swinging his body. Eddie jumped up, grabbing Buck by his elbows and hauling him up slowly. He watched as the younger man blinked slowly, clearly getting a head rush from the sudden shift in axis. 

“Just take it slow Buck.” Eddie kept a firm grip on Buck, waiting until he was ready to start making their way inside. He helped him up the stairs, pushing the door open with his foot and quickly sitting him down on the couch. Maddie came right over from the kitchen, tucking a well used blanket around her brother’s waisted and uncapping a large chilled bottle of water. Buck took the water with a small nod, taking small sips to make sure he could keep it down before draining half of it in a few gulps. He sighed once he was done, capping the bottle and placing it to the side. He closed his eyes once again and leaned his head back, looking ready to fall asleep sitting up. 

“You want to take a nap before dinner? It won’t be ready for a few hours, so you’ve got plenty of time.” Maddie said, already helping Buck up, knowing that he would be more comfortable in the guest room then the couch. Eddie followed behind them silently, grabbing the water and blanket just in case Buck wanted them. 

He watched from the doorway as buck took off his shoes, and Maddie re-tuck him in, even going as far as to fluff the pillows. 

“I’m okay Maddie.”

“I know you are, just let me coddle you for a little while alright? You used to beg me to come in at night and tuck you in.” Buck snorted, mirth filling his futures as he pushed his sister away softly. 

“Yeah, when I was like seven, not a fully grown adult capable of putting himself to bed.” Maddie just laughed, leaving the room with one final check, making him promise to yell if he needed anything. 

Eddie made his way in once Maddie left, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over bucks torso, an arm thrown over his body. 

“What, are you going to fluff my pillows to?” Buck laughed, and Eddie just smirked, brushing his hair back and running a hand over his eyes to get him to shut them. Buck huffed, closing his eyes. 

“Just get some rest, alright? We’ll all be right out there if you need anything.” 

“You don’t need to baby me.” Buck whispered. 

“There's a difference between helping and being worried, and babying someone Buck. We aren’t doing this because we don’t think you can do it yourself; we’re doing it because we don’t want you to do it yourself. We want to take care of you, and make sure you have what you need because this isn’t a fight anyone can win by themselves. Just remember that, alright?” Eddie said, ending his little speech with a kiss. 

Buck tried to open his eyes once more, but Eddie stopped him before he could, turning the lamp off and getting up in one swift motion. 

“Just sleep for now. You need the rest. 

Buck couldn’t argue with that, relaxing fully into the sheets as Eddie closed the door with a soft click. 

He fell asleep with a small smile, feeling loved and full for the first time in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! See you next time. 
> 
> Don’t forget to leave kudos and comment, I love reading them!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter!! We’re picking up some steam now, so I can hopefully get out some more plot dense chapters in the coming weeks. As always, thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Warning: throwing up, being sick, cancer treatments, side effects of chemo, nausea.

Buck woke with a groan, feeling his stomach turn for the worst as he slowly sat up. He expected to find himself still in Bobby and Athena’s guest room, but instead he was met with his own room at Maddie’s and Chim’s house, familiar sheets rubbing against his skin and hallway light illuminating the pale walls. 

He swung his feet over the side of the bed, feeling seconds away from puking his insides up for the second time that day, taking a few deep breaths before he ventured into the bathroom down the hall. He snuck past Maddie’s and Chimney's room as quietly as he could, slipping into the bathroom and locking the door. 

Buck sat down on the lip of the tub, leaning until his head was rested in his hands. 

He learned very quickly that chemo sucked. He thought he’d have more time before the side effects really started to show, but he could feel the change from the second he was hooked up to that needle. 

He took another shaky breath, a gag getting stuck in his throat right before he dropped in front of the toilet. There was nothing left to expel except bile and acid, his throat burning when he caught a brake to catch his breath. 

“Are you alright?” Buck’s head snapped to the right, flinching back at Chimney’s sudden appearance in the doorway. He put a hand to his chest as he leaned against the tub, willing the frantic beating to slow down. 

“Holy Hell Chim, you scared the hell out of me.” Buck gasped, shifting around until he was sitting with his back to the tub. Chimney crossed the threshold of the bathroom and sat down next to the younger man, throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was getting a glass of water when I heard you in here, just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Buck nodded, closing his eyes. 

“I’m alright.” 

“This doesn't exactly scream the definition oh ‘alright’, Buck.” Chimney ran a hand through Bucks blonde curls, subtly feeling his forehead to make sure he didn’t have a fever. 

“This is normal though, and it’s just the start. It’s all downhill from here.” Buck whispered. Chimney just pulled the younger man closer until his forehead was resting on his shoulder. “You know you don’t have to stay.” 

“Yes I do.” Chimney was perfectly content in staying on the floor of his bathroom for the rest of the night if that’s what Buck needed. 

“What time is it?” Buck asked, and Chimney looked at his watch to see that it was almost four in the morning, meaning he had to be at work in four hours. 

“It’s late— or early depending how you look at it.” He said instead, closing his eyes, hoping Buck would take the hint and do the same. He didn’t of course.

“You have to be at work in a few hours Chim, go back to bed.” Buck said, leaning away from him. Chimney was just about to put a hand over the younger man’s mouth and force him to relax when Buck started coughing again. He quickly went back to the toilet, gagging until he couldn’t breathe through the force of his coughing spell. Chimney got back up and placed a hand on Buck’s back, rubbing soothing circles into the cotton of his t-shirt until he was done.

“Your alright Buck, just let It out.” It took Buck a while to get his breathing back under control, gasping a little until he could take in a full breath. 

Chimney handed him a small cup of tap water, instructing him to rinse out his mouth. “You good?” Buck could only nod, collapsing back against the tub, this time willingly burying his head into Chimneys waiting hold. 

Buck really didn’t want to be alone, but he also didn’t want to inconvenience anyone else, despite their offers and willingness to help. 

Chimney got up quickly with a promise of being right back, “I’m going to go get you your nausea pills and some water, alright? I'll just be a second.” He made his way out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen, grabbing a Gatorade from the fridge instead of a bottle of water, figuring Buck could use the glucose and calories. He didn’t really eat anything today, and Chimney wasn’t even sure if he had anything yesterday either if he was being honest. He grabbed a pack of saltines on the way out as well, hoping that the light food would help settle Buck’s stomach if he could convince him to eat. He silently snuck into his shared bedroom with Maddie, going to the cabinet where she kept all the medicine, and grabbing Bucks nausea pills. He shut the door softly behind him with a sigh, glad at least someone in the house was getting some sleep.

He entered the bathroom once again, taking the seat he vacated only moments before. “Here, try and drink this, alright? You're dizzy and nauseous because you haven’t eaten anything in awhile. Your blood sugars probably in the toilet along with everything else.” Chimney broke the seal on the sports drink, passing it to Buck so he couldn’t refuse the offer. He watched closely as he took small sips, his throat getting soothed if nothing else. He tore open the pack of crackers and handed Buck a few, “You can’t take these pills on an empty stomach.” He watched Buck take a few more sips and eat two crackers before he handed over the medicine. Buck took them silently, knocking them back without complaint. 

“Thanks Chim.” Buck said, eyes dropping, head falling back onto the older man’s shoulder. Chimney guided him to take one last drink before he capped the bottle, setting it aside for later. 

“Always Buck.” 

They stayed like that for another few hours, Buck rotating between dozing off on the older man’s shoulder, and gasping into the toilet bowl. Maddie walked in around seven, silently taking over so Chimney could get ready for work. He took a quick shower in the master bathroom, getting dressed before once again sitting by Bucks side. Maddie was sitting on the lip of the tub, rubbing a soothing hand on her brother’s forehead as he leaned into her side. The couple exchanged a look, Chimney sliding closer so he could take Bucks weight off his girlfriend. She checked quickly to make sure he was asleep before addressing what they were both thinking. 

“I’m so worried about him.” She whispered, tears filling her eyes despite her effort to blink them away. 

“It was just a rough night Maddie, things are going to get better.” 

“Yeah, but things are going to get a hell of a lot worse before then. If he’s like this after just one treatment, then I don’t even want to think what it’s going to be like towards the end.” Chimney reaches a crossed Bucks body so he could hold Maddie’s hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“All we can do is think about the step right after this one, because try as we might, we can’t predict the future. It’s too unpredictable. Everything we do, every action we take changes it, so all we can do is make the next right step, and hope it leads us somewhere we want to end up.” Chimney whispered, eyes never leaving his girl friends. 

“When did you get so wise?” Maddie said as she got up, kissing both of their heads, Buck not even twitching. 

“I’ve had a lot of time to think.” Maddie just hummed, leaving the bathroom to go and get ready before her own morning shift. 

Chimney just stayed right where he was, having no intention of moving until he knew someone was coming to sit next to Buck. 

That someone ended up being Eddie, because of course it did. He came knocking at their door right at seven thirty, bearing cups of coffee and breakfast muffins, having known they were going to be running late. Chimney was just helping Buck back to bed, the younger man seemingly well enough to leave the vicinity of the bathroom, when Eddie walked in. 

Eddie could tell it was a tough night by taking one look at his friend, the bags under his eyes laying truth to how much sleep the man got. 

Chimney grabbed the coffee from Eddie’s hold as soon as Buck’s door was shut, chugging half of it in one scalding gulp. Eddie’s eyes widened, arms poised to take the to go cup from the man before he could do lasting damage to his throat. 

“That bad?” He asked instead, posture relaxing when Chimney started taking more managed sips of his morning brew. 

“We spent half the night on the bathroom floor, rotating between Buck falling asleep on my shoulder, and me having to hold him back from falling face first into the toilet.” Chimney sighed, running a hand down his face roughly. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but I’m just tired, and praying for an easy shift.” 

They made their way out into the living room where Maddie was getting her things packed for the day, slipping her shoes on and checking to make sure she had her keys. She gave Chimney a quick kiss and Eddie a hug before running out the door, promising to be home in time for dinner. 

“I should get going as well, are you going to be alright?” Chimney asked, grabbing his keys from the bowl. 

“We’ll be fine, don’t worry about Buck, I’ve got him.” 

“I know you do.” Chimney smirked, closing the door behind him before Eddie could question what the look meant. The fire fighter shrugged, peeking into Buck’s room to make sure he was still sleeping before deciding to help clean up around the house. 

He quickly did the few dishes that were in the sink so the couple didn’t have to worry about them when they got home, sweeping the floor and just making sure things were in their place. It was the least he could do to take some of the weight off their shoulders. 

He pushed Buck’s door open once more, making his way over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. He ran a hand through his hair to get him to wake up, smiling when Buck’s eyes slowly blinked open. 

“Eddie?” 

“Hey Buck.” Eddie cupped a hand around his jaw, rubbing his thumb over His jaw bone softly.

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, sitting up some. Eddie just pushed him back down, knowing just how exhausted he was. 

“I came to spend the day with you.” 

“But it’s your day off.” Buck sounded so confused that couldn’t help but laugh, leaning down to press a kiss to his temple. 

“Yeah, and that’s why I’m here. Chris is at school and all I was going to do was watch some TV, so I might as well do that with you. We can stay in bed all day and watch whatever you want, alright?” Buck just nodded, leaning back into his pillows. “Did you eat anything?” Buck’s nose scrunched up at the thought of food, barely being able to handle a few sips of Gatorade. 

“How about a smoothie? It won’t be as good as Joan’s, but I’ll be easy enough on your stomach.” Eddie said, gently tapping Bucks' check till he got a small nod. He smiled, sitting up with a groan. “I’ll be right back, alright?” 

Buck was already sound asleep, head turned into his pillow. 

—-

Chimney stumbled into the station with a groan, just barely stabilizing his to go cup before it crashed to the floor. He sighed, stopping at the entrance and taking a moment to breathe, eyes drooping despite the two very large cups of black coffee he chugged in the last hour. 

“You alright, Chim?” Bobby asked from the terrace, leaning over the guardrail with a frown. The man looked wrecked, his hair a mess, deep purple smudges under his eyes. Bobby made his way down the stairs slowly, patting his friend on the back as soon as he was in reach. 

“I’m alright Cap, just absolutely exhausted. I was up half the night with Buck as he threw up everything he had in him, and then some.” Chim sighed, taking another long sip of his now cold coffee. 

“That bad, huh?” Bobby couldn’t help the concern is his voice, plucking the old coffee from Chimney’s hand and throwing it into the nearby trash can. The fire fighter pouted for a moment before he realized Bobby was leading him towards the kitchen, where a fresh pot was gurgling to a stop. The Captain made him a fresh cup, sliding it across the bar and gesturing towards the empty seat before him.

“We spent the night on the bathroom floor, rotating between him falling asleep on my shoulder, and gagging into the toilet. Neither of us got more then an hour or two; I’m just hoping that Eddie got him to go back to sleep.” Chimney said into his folded arms, deciding it was taking way too much energy to even hold his head up. Bobby hummed sympathetically, patting him on the back in comfort. 

“Why don’t you go lay down in the bunks for a little while? I’ll come get get you if theirs all call you can’t scrape by without you, but get some rest until then.” Bobby ordered, pushing Chimney towards the bunks before he could protest, though Bobby doubt he would. He looked half a second from passing out, each blink of his eyes getting slower and slower to open. Hen walked up the stairs then from down in the ambulance bay, raising an eye at her best friend’s state. Bobby just held up a hand, waiting until Chimney was settled in a bunk with the door closed before he addressed her concern. 

“Buck had a tough night.” He said simply, pouring her a cup a coffee. Hen took it with a smile, sitting in the seat Chimney had just vacated. 

“The side effects are already hitting him pretty hard, huh?” She said into the rim of her coffee, concern clearly visible in here eye. 

Bobby huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Chim says he was sick most of the night, not getting much sleep. Eddie’s with him now.” Hen perked up at that. 

“There’s something going on between those two.” She smirked, always up for a little harmless gossip. Bobby just raised an eyebrow, but she new he noticed the change as well. They were closer, if that was even possible, and Eddie was fiercely protective of Buck, more so than being just work partners and best friend’s. 

“It’s none of my business until it starts to effect their work, not that it really matters at the moment with Buck being on permanent sick leave until his treatment is over.” Hen’s mood soured at that. 

“Do you think he’s going to come back?” She asked hesitantly, having wondered what was going to happen after the treatment. 

Bobby thought for a moment, “I don’t know. The effects of chemo and cancer are not just temporary, they can last for the rest of his life. Nerve damage to the appendages from chemo, decrease in lung capacity from the cancer, the mental toll, there’s just too many factors to consider. I guess it all just depends on him and how his body reacts coming out the other side. He might never be a firefighter again, but he will always be Evan Buckley of the 118.” Bobby said, lost in thought as he tried to imagine a world where Evan Buckley was not a firefighter. 

Hen hummed, lost in the same train of thought. She was just about to reassure her Captain that everything was going to turn out the way it was supposed to when the bell rang, jumping up with one last gulp of coffee. 

Chimney came racing out of the bunks, looking a little more awake from his power nap, but no less exhausted. Bobby assessed him with a trained eye, declaring that he could come along just for the medical side, and to stay in the truck if he wasn’t needed. 

Hen had to stable him when he tried to pull himself into the truck, his foot catching on the way up and causing him to stumble. The two of them shared a look behind Chimney’s back.

It was going to be a long day. 

——

Eddie bustled around the kitchen, pulling a Banana off the rack and rummaging around in the fridge for berries. He had just pulled the blender from the top shelf when he heard a door open, turning to see Buck slowly make his way into the kitchen. Eddie just raised an eyebrow, turning back towards the counter. 

“I thought you were sleeping?” He threw over his shoulder, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a Gatorade. Buck still looked deathly pale, his body in desperate need of some fast carbs to replenish everything he’s lost. “Try and drink this alright?” 

Buck took the drink silently, breaking the seal and taking a few sips. “I don’t want to lie in bed anymore.” He said. 

Eddie put the chopped up fruit into the blender, adding some yogurt and ice before giving it a quick blend. 

“Then how about the couch? We can watch a few movies before deciding what we want to do for lunch.” Eddie said, sliding a very full glass of smoothie towards Buck, digging in one of the drawers for the bendy straw he knew Buck secretly loved. He leaned over and plopped it into the glass with a smile, getting a little chuckle from His partner. Eddie rounded the counter, pulling Buck into his side with a firm kiss to his temple. The younger man leaned into him, slowly sipping his drink, looking perfectly content for the time being. 

“Thank you for coming over today, you didn’t have to, but I’m glad you're here.” Buck whispered, looking up from his drink to meet Eddie’s eyes. He leaned up until he could just brush their lips together, Eddie leaning down the rest of the way. 

“There’s no place I rather be.” Eddie said with another quick peck, smiling into Bucks lips before pulling back. “You want to move to the couch?” He asked. Buck nodded, grabbing his smoothie and plopping down onto the couch with a sigh, pulling a blanket over his waist. Eddie sat down right next to him, pulling him until he was laying sideways in his lap, head tucked under his chin. He grabbed the remote, throwing on a random rom-com, knowing the movie wasn’t going to hold either of their focuses for long. Buck’s eyes were already closed. He tapped him mentally on the jaw, rousing him just enough to get his eyes to open.

“Try and drink some more of your smoothie before you fall asleep, alright?” Eddie grabbed the drink, leaning a little to the side so Buck could take a few sips. He waited until the drink was almost gone to lean back again, content that Buck had at least something in his stomach. He wrapped them both up in blankets, biting his nose into the younger man’s head with a smile. 

“Goodnight Buck.” He whispered, feeling the lull of sleep himself. 

They were both out within minutes, perfectly content to just sleep the morning away. 

——

Athena pulled up to the Buckley/Han residence, walking up to the door with her own spare key, letting herself in and placing the large pot of soup she was carrying on the kitchen counter. She planned to just drop the latest of Her husband's escapades in the kitchen off, if only to get it out of her kitchen, when she noticed just how silent the house was. She was just about to make her presence known when she noticed something on the couch. She walked over silently, humming with a smirk at what she found. She pulled out her phone immediately, snapping a picture of the apparent love birds all snuggled up on the couch, Eddie’s nose buried in Buck’s curls while Buck practically laid in the older man’s lap. Athena snapped one final picture before leaving, shutting the door behind her with a gentle tap. 

The picture was sent to the family group chat before she even got back into her car, texts rolling in before she could make it down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love reading comments, so don’t forget to leave one below. 
> 
> See you soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, okay— I’m so so so so so sorry!! This chapter really kicked my but, it took so long for me to write because I’ve been so busy with the holidays and work, and I started an Etsy shop, so my time is very much taken. I really wanted to get this done and post it sooner, but it wasn’t in the cards.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter despite its very late appearance. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!

The week that followed his diagnosis was honestly one of the most exhausting and anxiety-inducing group of days of Buck’s entire life, and he was absolutely done by the time he got finished with his first complete cycle of chemo. The thought of getting out of bed brought tears to his eyes, and anything other than plain chicken broth of a banana smoothie had him stumbling towards the bathroom. 

He’s puked more in the last week then he did in all his years at college, and he was in a fraternity filled with over zealous jocks. 

Buck turned slowly in bed, groaning into his pillow when his whole body ached at the simple movement. He sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to go back to sleep, but he was also not willing to get out of bed, so he grabbed his phone off the charger and started flipping through Instagram. It was only four in the morning, so hopefully Chim and Maddie were getting more rest then he was. 

It didn’t matter how much sleep he got because he wasn’t truly resting, always waking up more tired then he was when he passed out. It was an endless cycle of staying awake for a few necessary hours before going back to his bed, sleeping off as much exhaustion as he could before he was woken to do it all over again. 

Buck ran a hand through his messed up curls, debating if he had it in him to get up and go to the bathroom. He ultimately decided that his bladder was stronger then his will not to leave the comfort of his covers, so he got up slowly, swinging his legs over the side of his bed. He made the short trip to the bathroom down the hall, finishing quickly before tip toeing back to his room. Instead of crawling back into bed like he wanted to despite knowing it was pointless, he decided to grab an oversized sweatshirt and beanie and sit on the back porch. It was still dark out, but it wouldn’t be too long before the sun came up, so he grabbed a blanket and sat in one of the lawn chairs. It was a nice night, the air just chilly enough to justify a sweatshirt and blanket, but not enough to really settle in your bones after a long while. 

Buck sat back with a content sigh, closing his eyes, listening as birds and little wooden animals that rose with the sun, scurrying around in the day break. He was almost asleep when he heard the back door open, cracking open an eye to see both Maddie and Chimney step out with their own cups of tea and blankets. 

“We were wondering where you went off to.” Maddie whispered, passing him a cup of ginger tea with lemon, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck smiled, taking the warm mug between his fingers and sipping at it slowly. 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to come out here and watch the sunrise.” Buck said as they both pulled up chairs, curling up in them with their gaze towards the sky. The sun was just peaking through the horizon, casting the whole sky in warm light. 

Buck and Maddie were too busy watching for the moment the sun rose to notice that Chimney pulled out his phone, snapping a picture of his two favorite people, the natural setting creating the perfect background for his Home Screen. 

“Did you get much sleep last night, Buck?” Chimney asked as he slipped his phone back in his pocket. He watched as Buck shrugged, burrowing deeper into his blanket. 

“I got some, but my sleep schedule is so messed up it doesn't matter if I got a full eight hours, I’ll still be tired.” Chimney knew the effects of chemotherapy were hitting Buck hard, the lack of sleep and weight loss prominent even after just a week. 

Buck has already lost an alarming amount of weight, much to the dismay and concern of his family. They knew that he was eating as much as he could, but it was still hard to see. 

“How about some breakfast? I can make some oatmeal if you want?” Maddie asked, already sitting up in her chair. Buck nodded, willing to eat something while he was feeling alright. He knew the feeling wouldn’t last, and eventually his stomach would turn, but for right now, he was okay. Maddie went back inside with a smile, promising to call them in when it was ready. Chimney took his girlfriend's vacated seat next to Buck, plopping down and reaching over to ruffle the younger man’s hair. They didn’t say anything, they didn’t have to, perfectly content to just sit in the early morning sun, relaxing a little more before they really had to start their day. 

“How’s everything at the firehouse?” Buck asked after a while, turning his head to the side to look at his friend. 

Chimney hummed, “it’s going alright, it’s definitely quieter without you there, but we’re getting by. Maybe you can stop by for lunch if you are feeling up to it? I’m sure everyone would love to see you.” 

Buck has missed being at the firehouse with everyone, so he promised to stop by if he was feeling up to leaving the house. Maddie poked her head out the door then, waving them both in to eat. Chimney got up and offered a hand to the younger man, hauling him up with a smile and a tap on the shoulder. They grabbed their blankets and mugs before going inside, the table all set and waiting for them. Buck sat down at the head of the table, stirring some blueberries into his oatmeal that Maddie had set out. 

“Thanks Mads.” 

“Of course Buck.” She said, reaching over to squeeze her brother's hand before turning to her own bowl, adding nuts and berries into it before digging in. Chimney added pretty much everything to his bowl: blueberries, pistachios, dried cranberries, a squeeze of maple syrup, and a small spoonful of brown sugar. He looked up from his bowl once it was filled to his liking, noticing both of them we’re laughing at him softly. He raised an eyebrow in question. 

“What?” 

Buck just shook his head, taking a bite. They eat in comfortable silence, spoons scraping against bowls and soft puffs of air the only sounds filling the room. Chimney quickly cleared the table when they were done, throwing everything into the dishwasher before heading into the master bedroom to get ready for work. Maddie followed behind him, kissing Buck’s forehead on the way out, promising to say goodbye before the headed out for the day. 

Buck stood from his chair when they were gone, going to the living room and folding the blankets and draping them back over the couch. He went back to his room and changed into a fresh pair of sweatpants, throwing on an old LAFD academy shirt. Chimney was already showered and dressed when he made his way back into the living room, fixing a pot of coffee. 

“Are you going to be okay here by yourself while we’re all at work?” Chimney asked, despite knowing the answer was going to be yes, he asked the question every morning, and Buck’s answer was always a resounding yes, stating that he was more than capable of staying home by himself. The older man couldn’t help but worry though. 

“I’ll be fine Chim, and I’m planning on stopping by the firehouse anyways. You don’t have to worry so much.” Buck said from the kitchen table, fiddling with his cup of now cold tea. 

“I know you’ll be fine Buck, just let me worry in peace, alright?.” He laughed, grabbing his to go mug from the counter and heading to the foyer to put his shoes on. Maddie came out then, dressed and ready to go, grabbing her purse from the end table by the couch. She walked over to her brother, leaving a kiss on his forehead before kissing her boyfriend goodbye, promising to pick up something for dinner on her way home. 

Chimney has one hand on the door knob, hesitating to leave. He hated leaving Buck alone, despite knowing it was a necessity. 

“Go Chimney, before you're late for work.” Buck got up from his seat at the table, meeting the older man at the front door and all but pushing him out of the house. Chimney sighed, finally leaving after making Buck promise to call him or anyone else if he needed anything. 

Buck went back to his room once he had the house to himself, plopping down onto his bed and burying his head into his pillow. 

It didn’t take him long to fall back asleep, lolling in and out of consciousness for the next couple of hours until his phone woke him with a start, hand reaching blindly for the device and answering it without checking how it was first. 

“Hello?” He whispered, voice still thick with sleep.

“Hey Buck.” Bobby said down the line, voice cheery and the complete opposite of his pseudo sons. 

“Hey Bobby.” Buck said as he flipped over, running a hand through his hair and trying to get the grit out of his eyes. 

“How are you feeling? Chimney said you might stop by the station around lunch time if you felt up to leaving the house.” Bobby said, unable to contain his excitement at having Buck back at the station. Truth be told, the firehouse wasn’t the same without their youngest bounding around and talking everyone’s ears off about his latest Wikipedia dive. Even the firefighters from the relief shifts seemed more subdued, noticing the absence despite never being close to Buck. 

Buck being back at the firehouse for even just lunch will soothe some fried nerves and quench some of the fears he knew everyone was struggling with. 

“I just took a really long nap, so I’m feeling good. I might not be up to eating much, but I’ll stop by to see everyone.” Buck said, pulling his legs from his covers and sitting up. 

“Good, I know everyone will be happy to see you. I’ll see you in a couple of hours, alright? We’re just having some sandwiches and salad, nothing too big.” Bobby said, hanging up with one final goodbye. 

Buck got out of bed, stretching out before heading towards the bathroom, fleshing up a bit and throwing on a new pair of sweatpants. Buck looked in the mirror as he tightened down the strings around his waist, frowning when they were still loose. 

He grabbed his phone from beneath his pillow, stuffing it in his pocket as he bounded down the stairs. He was almost at the bottom when his world shifted unexpectedly on its axis, a wave of dizziness hitting him. He grabbed the bannister and sat down on the bottom step, pushing his head between his legs and taking a deep breath. 

“Shit—” Buck whispered into his palm. He must have gotten up too fast. 

He waited until his vision stopped wobbling to try and get up, bracing a hand on the wall and slowly crossing the threshold into the kitchen. He reached blindly for a glass, thinking he was just dehydrated, but his hand missed the cabinet, throwing him off balance enough to go crashing to the floor with a startled yelp, his head clipping the side of the counter on the way down. 

Everything happened so fast that Buck didn’t even process that he was on the kitchen floor, or that his head was sluggishly bleeding until a few minutes later. He blinked away the daze he was in the best he could, bringing a shaking head to the cut right above his eyebrow. 

It was bleeding more than it should be, but Buck knew from his medic training that head wounds bleed a lot, and chemo thins out the blood?— he couldn’t quite remember. Everything was melding together into one big blur, the only thing alerting him that he was still conscious was the pulsing in his head. 

He wasn’t sure how long he laid there with his eyes shut before he gathered enough awareness and energy to turn on to his back, but it was long enough for a pool to gather beneath his head, quickly drying blood crusting over his eyes. He reached a shaky hand up and tried to wipe his vision clear, but he was still too shaky to do much of anything. 

He reached for his phone after a couple of minutes, remembering vagley that he put it in his pocket before coming down stairs, sighing when he didn’t feel it against his thigh. He patted the floor around him, hoping that it fell out when he face planted, but he couldn’t find it, and he didn’t have the sense of balance to get up to search for it. 

It took him way too long to remember the Alexa sitting on the window sill above him, his eyes blinking open at the sudden clarity. 

“— hey Alexa?” His voice sounded foreign even to his own ears, muffled around the numbness of his tongue. “Call Bobby.” 

He sighed in relief when he heard steady ringing fill the room, flashing blue light filling his haze, and he couldn’t help but zone in on the calming color. 

“Hey Buck.” A voice he would always recognize said, and it took him a moment to realize said voice was talking to him. 

“Bobby?” He didn’t mean to sound so confused— except for the fact that he was. 

“Buck, you alright?” Even in his haze he could hear the concern in the older man’s voice, and Buck hated it when Bobby was worried, especially about him. 

“Bobby?” That's not what he meant to say. He already said that. Why couldn’t he think straight?

“Yeah Buck, it’s me— what’s going on? Are you hurt?” He could hear shuffling down the line, and a multitude of different voices, and that just added to Buck’s confusion. “Buck, answer me son. Are you alright?” 

“My tongue feels numb.” Because that’s what he decided to focus on, not the blood pooling beneath his head or the lack of concentration, but that his tongue feels weird in his mouth. 

“Your tongue? Did you eat anything weird? How’s your breathing?” Buck could hear sirens now, and couldn’t quite tell if it was coming from outside or from the phone. He heard Bobby ask someone if he was allergic to anything, and he found himself saying no anyways. “Buck I need you to concentrate for a second, alright? Are you having an allergic reaction to something?” 

Buck shook his head, not realizing they couldn’t see him until Bobby asked again.

“I fell.” He finally got out, knowing that was the answer he wanted to say to begin with, but not being able to find the correct words. His brain was getting more and more fuzzy. He closed his eyes once more. 

“You fell? Okay— okay listen Buck, we’re almost to the house now, but I need you to stay awake, can you do that? Talk to me, what did you have for breakfast?”

Buck knew he had something for breakfast this morning, but he couldn’t remember what it was. It was sweet, he knew that— and Chim was there, and so was Maddie. It was warm and had fruit- and nuts—

“Buck? What did you have for breakfast?”

“— oatmeal.” 

“That’s right Buckaroo, we’re almost there, alright? Just hang on a couple more minutes.” That was a new voice, a voice he also recognized and cherished. 

“Chim.” He sighed, His eyes were getting heavy, and he wasn’t sure why he was fighting to keep them open to begin with. 

“Got it in one Buck. We’re pulling up now, alright?” Chimney said, looking ready to spring out of his seat the second the truck was in park. “Buck?” He looked over at the phone clutched tightly in his captain's hand. “Evan, answer me.”

Eddie ripped the door open with gusto, jumping out of the truck with a leap, landing on the sidewalk and sprinting to the front door. He was just about to kick the door open in his haste to get to Buck when a hand landed on his shoulder and pushed him back. 

“Don’t you dare, I actually have a key for this one, remember?” Chimney said, unlocking the front door and resetting the alarm so they got no other unexpected visitors. 

Eddie pushed past his friend and frantically searched the living room, rounding into the kitchen when he didn’t see the man he was searching for. He couldn’t help but gasp at what awaited him; Buck prone on the floor surrounded by blood and as pale as a piece of parchment. He dropped to his knees at the younger man’s side, not carrying at the resounded crack in his knee caps, or the floor— he wasn’t sure.

“Evan?” He whispered, pressing his fingers into the man’s pressure point, sighing in relief when he felt a steady thudding on his fingertips. 

Hen and Chimney dropped down, immediately checking his vitals and hooking him up to a IV. 

“Hey Buckaroo, this is no place to take a nap, it’s time to wake up babe.” Hen said as she cleaned out the cut on his forehead and placed a pressure bandage to the wound to keep it clean. 

“His blood pressure is low, and he’s really dehydrated, it’s no wonder he passed out.” Chimney tutted, gently pinching the younger man’s arm to test his hydration. He looked over his shoulder where Bobby was silently looming, looking like he wanted nothing more than to chew on his finger nails, or gather Buck in his arms and shake him awake. 

“Let’s get him to the hospital to get checked out, alright?” Bobby ordered, taking the backboard off the gurney and passing it to Eddie. The man laid it out next to Buck’s prone form, leaning down beside his head and getting a tight grip under his shoulders. They lifted on three, shifting buck onto the back board and stepping him in. 

“Almost there, Buck.” Eddie whispered as he leaned down to grab the backboard, wanting to press a kiss to Buck’s temple, but knowing it wasn’t the time or the place to do so. He instead lifted when Chimney instructed him to do so, carrying Buck slowly out of the house and onto the waiting gurney. They did one final check to make sure everything was in place before lifting the bed into the back of the ambulance. Bobby took over the wheel with hen by his side, Eddie and Chimney working almost silently in the back, all their focus on getting Buck back to consciousness. 

“He should wake up once the IV replenishes some of the fluid he lost.” Chimney said, head hanging a little lower than usual. Eddie glanced at him quickly, raising an eyebrow at the over distraught look on his face. 

“What’s going on Chim?” Eddie asked, leaning over and bumping him with his elbow as he had medical gloves on. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have left him home alone.” The older man whispered, fiddling with the IV bag to give him something to do. He refused to meet Eddie’s eye. 

“You couldn't have predicted this would happen, Chim.” 

“We all knew how bad chemo was kicking his ass, and how little he’s been able to eat and sleep. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect something like this to happen!” He raised his voice just slightly, frustration and fear covering his face, crinkling the skin around his eyes and making him look years older. 

“Then we do something about it.” Bobby spoke up for the first time, “we can’t change that this happened, but we can make sure that it doesn't happen again. Well send someone over to stay with him while you and Maddie are working, and if no one can then we’ll figure something out.” Bobby said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight, eyes hard with determination. 

They all knew right then that this wasn’t going to happen again, because when Bobby put his mind to something, it got done. 

Chimney was just about to respond when he heard a deep intake of breath come from the gurney, snapping his attention back to Buck. He grabbed the younger man’s hand, squeezing it softly to let him know he was there. 

“Can you hear me Buckaroo?” Chim asked, drawing everyone else’s attention, heads snapping to the back of the ambulance. He watched as Eddie clutched Buck’s upper arm, snaking a hand into the arm hole of his t-shirt and rubbing soft circles into his skin. 

It was oddly intimate. 

Buck turned towards the feeling, sucking in another hearty breath before pulling his eyes open, gaze wandering around until they locked with Eddie. 

“Hey Buck.” The older man whispered, hand still wrapped around the younger man’s arm, the fear his eyes were holding calming slightly. 

“Hey.” Buck said simply, voice a little scratchy and slurred. That could be from the blood loss or possible concussion, but all the members of the 118 cared about at the moment was that their youngest was up, and he was talking. 

“You gave us quite the scare there Buck; how are you feeling, man?” Chimney said, checking his vitals again to make sure they were still steady. Buck glanced quickly over at him, eyes drooping slightly but aware nonetheless. 

“I'm— I’m tired.” He dragged out, “and my head hurts.” He lifted a hand to press against the cut above his eyebrow, but two sets of hands shot out to stop him before he could. 

“Hey, don’t touch that Buckaroo, you’ve got a pretty nasty gash above your eyebrow. We know it hurts, the doctors will give you the good stuff once we get to the hospital.” Chimney said, holding Buck’s hand at his side so he wouldn’t try and mess with his wound. 

“—Hospital?” He groaned, knowing that he wasn’t due back there for at least another week. “I’m not supposed to go back to the hospital yet.” He turned his head to Chimney before looking towards the front of the ambulance. “—Bobby?”

Booby glanced in the rearview mirror at that, lips pulling up in a small smile. “Hey there kid, do you remember what happened?” The older man watched as Buck’s eyes clouded over with confusion for a moment before they cleared enough for him to nod. 

“Yeah— I fell.” 

“That’s right, and we’re pulling up to the hospital now, so just hang in there for a few more minutes.” Eddie said, clapping him softly on the shoulder, hand sneaking up slightly to grip the younger man’s neck. He got up without another word as soon as the ambulance was parked at the ER entrance. They carefully got Buck out of the back and wheeled him in, Chimney and Hen rattling off his numbers and condition to the waiting doctors and nurses. 

“We got it from here, thanks guys.” One doctor said, dismissing them with a nod, but Bobby stopped her before she could leave with her team. 

“This is one of our own, so I’m going to have Eddie and Chimney here stay behind. Can you direct them to the waiting room?” The Captain said, voice hardening slightly. The doctor nodded and gave them directions to the waiting room upstairs. 

“I’ll call in some people from the relief shifts, you guys just worry about Buck for now, alright? Keep us updated.” Eddie nodded for the both of them, turning towards the elevators with a promise to keep them in the loop. 

He sighed when he plopped down in one of the typical hospital chairs, resigning himself to a night of worry and exhaustion, not. That he would leave anyway. 

Anything to make sure Buck was okay.

“I should've stayed home with him.” Eddie turned towards Chimney, watching as his face scrunched up and the subtle wrinkles around his eyes and forehead got more defined. 

“We talked about this Chim, you couldn’t have expected this to happen.” 

“—I know, but couldn’t I? We all know that chemo has been kicking his but, even though he tries to hide it. I mean, have you seen how much weight he’s lost already? It’s no wonder he got so dizzy he passed out. He’s barely eating, and any sleep he gets isn’t restful, and he spends most nights on the bathroom floor.” Chimney ranted, pulling at his hair and lumping back into his chair. 

“The doctors said this was going to be the bad week, but next week would be better. We knew this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park going in, and this is just one of the many downsides that we are going to have to face.” Eddie said, clapping chimney on the back before leaning back in his own chair, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment.

“How are you so calm about this?” 

“I’m not; I’m just really good at compartmentalization.” 

Eddie had the uncanny ability to separate himself from any situation that needed him to be at the top of his game, despite wanting nothing more than to panic and rip out his hair. Still, he couldn’t help but grip his left arm tightly, and clench his jaw until his teeth ached. 

This wasn’t some random civilian he was trying to save on the job, or even just one of his friends, which would be anxiety inducing enough. 

No, this was Buck. His best friend, His partner in every sense of the word, his steady shoulder and side to lean into when he needed it. This was his everything, and the thought of him hurt and alone, the feelings bubbling up slowly in his chest with every passing minute, would probably never go away. Not until he was out of a hospital bed, at home and safe. 

Not until he got that all clear from his doctor and they could put this whole fucked up mess behind them. 

Eddie stood as stoic and calm as he could, not because he himself was, but because there was someone behind those closed doors that needed him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love reading everyone’s comments so please leave one below, and a kudos if you are feeling like it. 
> 
> See you next time! (Sooner, I hope— please let it be sooner lol)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve got another chapter for you. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this story is going to be a lot longer then I though it was going to be, and if you have any ideas or directions you want it to go then let me know! I love reading comments! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

Chimney eventually left from his chair to call Maddie, knowing that the longer he put off telling her, the more trouble he’d be in later. That left Eddie alone in the waiting room, slouched in a chair made to give you back problems, twiddling his thumbs in a last attempt to keep his mind from wandering. He thought about calling his Abuela and telling her the news, but he knew she worried about Buck enough as it was. He physically had to stop her from cooking everything in her fridge when he broke the news to her, knowing that Buck wouldn't be able to handle her spice cabinet alone, but would be too kind to refuse her food. Instead she prayed for him every night and at every meal, and made Eddie promise to tell her the second Buck needed something, whether it be food or a knitted blanket, she’d get it done.

He would have to call her eventually to ask if she could take Christopher for the night, as he didn't plan on leaving the chair he sat in until he got the news that his partner was okay. He’d call Carla after she dropped Chris off so she wouldn't have to worry about keeping it a secret from his son. 

“Maddie will be here in half an hour. I tried to tell her that you and I were here, and that there really wasn't anything she could do until we got news from the doctor, but she said i'd be sleeping on the couch for even suggesting she not come, so--” Chimney shrugged, resigning to the fact that Maddie’s word was law in their relationship, and that she was usually right to begin with. 

They’d been sitting in the waiting room long enough to leave permanent butt impressions in the thin chair cushions when a nurse came in to talk to them, though briefly. 

“It looks like Mr. Buckley has a minor concussion from the fall that should clear up in a couple of days as long as he takes it easy and rests.” The nurse said, flipping through a stack of papers on her clipboard. 

“So he's going to be alright? Can we see him?” Eddie asked, hands crossed over his chest as he balanced on the balls of his feet. 

“He's alright on that front, but we were concerned by how much weight he has lost in such a short amount of time, as well as his vitals. His blood sugar was extremely low, and he showed signs of malnutrition and dehydration, so we’re going to be keeping him for observation, as well as meeting whis his care team.”

“He hasn't been able to eat much because of the Chemo.” Chimney whispered, looking like he's blaming himself for Buck's lack of appetite. 

“Yes, lack of appetite is one of the side effects of chemotherapy, and that is one of the things we're going to be discussing with his care team.” The nurse smiled one more time before departing with a promise of someone coming to talk to them when they have new information. 

Eddie fell back into his chair with a groan, slamming his head just a little too hard against the wall on his way down in his frustration. 

“Hey now, we really don’t need two people in hospital beds right now, alright? Keep the self destructive coping mechanisms to a minimum.” Chim said, sliding back into his own chair without all the fanfare. 

They stayed like that for another thirty minutes, the slow ticking of the school clock on the wall quickly driving Eddie insane. He got up abruptly, leaving under the premise that he was going to call Hen and Bobby with an update, but in reality he just couldn’t sit any longer. He walked around the ward they were in until his hands stopped shaking, taking an extra lap to calm his nerves before heading back to Chimney. 

“Eddie?” A voice he knew very well called out when he was a turn away from the waiting room, Athena coming to a stop beside him with a raised eyebrow. “What are you doing here. Don’t you guys usually drop and go?” The older woman asked, Eddie’s heart freezing for a moment when he realized she didn’t know. 

“Bobby didn’t tell you?” Eddie whispered, eyes going wide as he took a subconscious step back from the very intimidating cop and mother figure to the man they were there for. 

“Bobby didn’t tell me what?” Athena asked in her ‘mom voice’ which was one hundred percent more intimidating than her ‘cop voice’ because it made Eddie feel like a twelve year old boy again, and nothing was worse than that. 

“Buck fell and hit his head, he called Bobby and we took him straight here to get checked out. The doctors are confident that it’s only a small conclusion, but they're worried about his weight and how little he’s eating, so they want him to stay for observation.” 

Athena just hummed, eyes closing momentarily to calm the slew of emotions she was feeling in that moment before she whipped out her phone. She pressed it to her ear quickly, popping out a hip as she waited for whoever she was calling to answer. 

“Hey, it’s Athena. I'm going to need the rest of the day, possibly the week off. My oldest is in the hospital.” She said simply, and she must have received the answer she was looking for because she hung up after a quick goodbye. She sighed one more time, running a hand through her hair and over her eyes before she straightened. 

“How long has he been here for?” She asked, gesturing for Eddie to lead the way back to the waiting room. 

“Umm, a few hours. Chim and I have been waiting for any news from the doctor since we got here, but all they’ve said so far is that they want to keep him for observation. Maddie tried to get off work early, but I guess she couldn’t get someone to cover the rest of her shift because she’s not here yet.” 

“And how did he fall?” 

“His blood sugar dropped too low, and he had a dizzy spell. We found him in the kitchen, right next to the sink so my guess is that he was reaching to get a glass of water and lost his balance. He hit the side of his head on the island on the way down, and didn’t have enough strength to get back up. He called Bobby using the Alexa.” Eddie grunted, blaming himself for Buck’s accident despite knowing it wasn’t his fault. Still, they all knew he was feeling really shitty, and not eating much, and probably shouldn’t have been left alone for an entire work day. There was just no one off shift to stay with him. 

“We’re going to have to figure out a way for someone to stay with him when Maddie and Chimney are both at work. I know he's not going to like it, but now it’s not entirely up to him. We can’t let this happen again.” There was a glint in Athena’s eyes, a mixture of determination and fierce material instinct that screamed the need to protect her kid. 

Buck’s now was always going to be Bobby and Athena’s kid, no matter how old he gets, just like May and Harry.

Just like Chris will always be Eddie’s little man, even when he’s as tall as his dad and has stubble on his chin, he will always be that little tiny baby that fit snug in the palm of his fathers hand. That’s just how parenting worked. 

They made the rest of the trip back to the waiting room in silence, Eddie opening the door quietly and letting Athena go in before him. Chimney was still sitting scrunched up in the same chair, elbow propped up on his knee, eyes drifting from staring blankly at the wall to them as they walked in. He perked up slightly at the sight of Athena, giving her a small smile.

“I see you got the news.” He said. 

“Actually no, I just so happen to run into this one after checking in with a victim. My dear husband seemed to have forgotten to mention anything to me.” Athena said, voice thick with sarcasm. She wasn’t really mad at Bobby though, knowing full well that he was now down two men and no doubt had half a mind on the job, and the other half sitting right here in the waiting room with them. 

Athena dropped down into the chair next to Chimney, already cringing at the stiffness and poor quality of the cushion. The man was still slumped down in his chair, neck craned at an awkward angle that will no doubt be cramping in the morning. 

“You doing alright there, Chim?” The older woman asked, reaching over and rubbing his back when he looked at her. She sat up straighter when his face came into full view, tears slowly leaking from his eyes. “Hey, Buck’s going to be just fine.” 

“It’s all my fault.” He crooked out, eyes scrunching up in an attempt to stop the tears, but it was no use. 

“Wow, you all are really cut from the same cloth, aren’t you?” Athena said, pushing the younger man up until she could get her arms around him, pushing his cheek into his shoulder. “Do you know how many times I’ve held Maddie and Buck while they cried over things they couldn’t control? I’m going to tell you exactly what I told them; this isn’t your fault. Buck’s not in the hospital because of you; he’s in here because he has cancer. Sure, we could have been preemptive and made sure someone was always with him during the day, but we can’t stop everything. Now we know, and we can do something about it.” Athena said, rubbing the man’s back and looking at the other emotionally constipated firefighter sitting behind him. Eddie was as stiff as a statue, starring ahead with the inside of his cheek between his teeth to keep from crying. Athena just sighed, reaching around until she could grasp the cotton of his t-shirt and pull him In. Eddie startled slightly, but relaxed at the glare Athena sent his way, slumping into her other side without a struggle. 

“We all just need to calm down and let some emotions out before you guys choke on your own feelings. It’s alright to cry, hell, I cry all the time. When May or Harry are hurt, when I’m feeling stressed, at The Notebook”

“You cried at The Notebook?” Chimney said, sitting up and wiping his eyes clean of tears with his sleeve. 

“Boy I swear— just listen alright? These coming months are going to be hard on everyone, and you two are going to do no one any good if you bottle up emotions that need to be released. That boy in there needs you to be strong, and you can’t do that if you’re afraid to shed some tears, do you hear me? Now is not the time to be macho.” Athena said with a huff, standing up and going to the vending machine to buy each one of them I drink. She was just pulling the last soda from the machine when the door to the waiting room busted open, Maddie running in with wild eyes. 

“Where is he?” She called, running over to the receptionist desk before anyone could answer. Chimney got up and followed behind her before she could scare the poor lady into giving her answers, wrapping an arm around her waist. The couple came back only after the nurse explained there was nothing new to report, dropping back down into the chairs and resigning themselves to a long restless night. 

——

Buck sat up propped in his hospital bed, pillows cushioning his back and a large bowl in his lap. 

He’s been puking since he woke up, the slight concussion adding to the long list of things that make him nauseous. He sat back after a minute, wiping his mouth and apologizing once again to the nurse who has to clean up after him. 

“This is the least gross thing I have to clean up during my shift, honey. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, just sit back and try and catch your breath alright? The doctor will be in soon to talk to you.” The nurse said, reminding him a lot of Carla with her no nonsense attitude and kind smile. He took her advice willingly, relaxing back as far as he could go and closed his eyes. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because that same nurse was shaking him awake softly, holding a spoon full of ice chips up to his mouth. 

“There you go dear, that should give your throat some relief. Dr. Simmons is here to speak to you, alright? You just press this button here if you need anything and I’ll come running.” The nurse—Jamie— said, pointing to a red button on the remote beside his bed. Buck nodded, watching as his doctor came in with a small smile. 

“Well Mr. Buckley, you seemed to have gotten yourself into quite the predicament here. Dizziness and a drop in blood sugar is the main cause of your fall, right?” The older man said, sitting down in a rolling chair and scooting closer to the bed. He grabbed his chart from the foot of the bed, glancing at it for a moment before humming, already knowing the answer. 

“Yeah, I was going down the stairs and suddenly got really dizzy. I thought I could make it to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but I lost my balance and fell. I hit my head on the way down.” Buck said, voice a little airy. He closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them, not liking the look the doctor was giving him. “What’s up, Doc?

“We’re concerned with how little food you’ve been able to keep down, and how much weight you’ve lost in a relatively short amount of time. You’re not in the danger zone yet, but we’d like to get on top of things before it gets worse.” 

“I’ve been trying to eat as much as I can, but nothing seems to want to stay down.” Buck sighed, “I got to say doc, I wasn’t expecting the side effects to be so severe so early on. I’ve only been on chemo for a week, I haven’t even lost my hair yet.” Buck said, running a hand through his hair to prove his point, have worried strands would start pulling out just to spite him. 

“Everyone takes to Chemo differently, Mr. Buckley, and it just seems to be hitting you relatively hard. I’m going to make a few non invasive suggestions that will hopefully help you gain a little weight back and not be so dizzy and nauseous all the time. If it doesn't work and you don’t feel noticeably better, then we’ll come back in a few weeks and reevaluate.” Dr. Simmons smiled, already handing over a long list of dietary supplements and mellow foods that will hopefully be easy on his stomach. “You could start off with a more liquid diet: fruit smoothies, bone broths, protein shakes, and even ice cream if you're feeling well enough. Start with that, drink as much water as you can, and if you start feeling better you can introduce some solids. Broiled chicken and soft vegetables, even plain buttered noodles. Nothing sweet or too savory, at this point we’re just testing the waters and seeing what your body can handle.” Buck watched as he pointed through a few items on the list, feeling him what he should start off with and what to watch out for. 

“My Captain is going to love this; his way of coping has been through stalking our fridge with enough food to feed an army.” Buck laughed, folding the paper up and sticking it in his front pocket to hand over when he saw the older man. 

“It’s good that you have such a strong support team around you, one that is not only trained medically, but that will be there for you for whatever you need.” Dr. Simmons got up at that, gesturing for Buck to do the same. “I see no reason as to why you couldn’t go home tonight, especially since you live with a trained EMT. You’ve got a small concussion from the fall, nothing to worry about. Just get some rest and clean out the cut and you should be good to go.” Buck follows the man out until they were just outside the waiting room, stopping for just a moment to finish up.

“Thanks again for everything, Doc. I really appreciate it.” 

“Just doing my job, Mr. Buckley. Now, I don’t need to remind you to come back if you have any complications, right?” 

Buck laughed, shaking his hand one last time before opening the door to the waiting room. “I have a feeling I’m going to be watched like a hawk for the next few days, so you don’t need to worry about that.” 

Buck was surrounded as soon as he entered the waiting room, Maddie’s arms wrapping around his waist and multiple hands clasping his shoulders before he could even make it a full stride.

“Buck, are you alright?” Maddie asked, reaching a hand up and cupping his cheek, turning his head from side to side to get a good look at him. 

“I’m fine Maddie, I’m fine.” Buck laughed, grasping her hands and pulling until they were once more resting at her sides. 

Buck watched as Bobby and Athena cornered his doctor before he could slip back out of the waiting room, both had their arms crossed and were clearly hunting for answers. He couldn’t dwell too much on that though because he was soon thrust into a new set of arms, ones he knew very well and immediately relaxed into. 

“Hey Eddie.” Buck said into the older man’s shoulder, turning until he could rest his cheek comfortably. 

“Hey, you okay?” Buck just smiled, nodding slightly before he pulled back. 

“I’m good, just tired.” 

“Well, let’s get you home then, alright? You can take a nap before we decide what to do about dinner.” Chimney spoke from behind him, wasting no time in turning him around and almost crushing him in a big bear hug. “I’m sorry.” The older man whispered into his ear, pulling back and crossing the room before Buck could even question the declination. He was just about to go and follow him when he was caught in yet another hug, this one from behind and from someone much shorter than himself. He couldn’t help but laugh, grabbing Hen’s hands and turning until he could see her. 

“You’ve got to stop scaring me like this, Buckaroo, I don’t know how much more my heart can take.” 

“I’m sorry, Hen. I didn’t mean to, I just got dizzy and by the time I realized I should probably sit down, I was already on the floor.” Buck allowed his friends to man handle him into a chair, a half finished bottle of water pushed into his hands before he could blink. He didn’t care who it belonged to, finishing the rest of the cool water after realizing just how thirsty he was. He was given an IV in the ambulance, but he still felt dehydrated even after a full bag of fluids. Another bottle was thrust into his sight before he could think about getting up and grabbing a fresh one from the vending machine, Maddie having pulled one from the seemingly bottomless pit of her purse. He chucked, knocking his shoulder against hers in thanks before taking a few sips. 

“What else have you got in there?” He asked, leaning over and peeking into the large bag on her shoulder. He watched, half amused but mostly terrified, as Maddie pulled out another two bottles of water, a pack of crackers, a bottle of Tylenol and Benadryl, a pack of gum, her wallet, tablet, phone and charger, a pair of sunglasses, an extra uniform shirt, and finally, a chocolate bar. “Jesus, you’ve got a whole survival kit in there. You carry all that everywhere you go?” Buck asked, sneaking a piece of gum and popping it into his mouth.

“You never know what you’re going to need, so might as well carry all the essentials with you. I still don’t understand how you men can get away with just your phones and wallets in your back pocket.” Maddie laughed, tucking everything back into her purse, Hen nodding along, patting her own sizable bag. 

“It’s because we know if we do need something, it’s most likely in your purse.” Chimney spoke up, pressing a kiss to Maddie’s cheek before she could retaliate. 

“I mean, I keep a bag with all the things Chris might need in the back of my truck.” Eddie turned in, waving a hand in agreement as Hen pulled a zip-lock bag of wipes, diapers and a change of clothes from her purse, all folded up so it’d fit in the front pocket. 

“I don’t think parents really grow out of the diaper bag stage; May’s eighteen and I still keep some things in my purse for her.” Athena said as she walked over from talking to Dr. Simmons, snorting as she pulled a pair of reading glasses from her own purse and threw them at her Husband. “I think the only things that are mine in her are my wallet and phone, and maybe a chapstick, but really that’s fair game.” 

Bobby walked around until he was standing behind Buck’s chair, placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning down so he could whisper in his ear, “I hear you have a list for me.” His Captain smiled, and that had Buck in stitches, clutching his arms around his middle while he tried to catch his breath. He stood up with a smile, pulling the folded up piece of paper from his pocket, pulling back before Bobby could take it.

“I don’t know if I can trust you with this information, Bobby. This is like handing you the key to the city or something.” Buck ended up handing the list over anyways, watching in amusement as Bobby studied it, pulling on his reading glasses and everything. 

“Hey, you need to eat and I like to cook, there's nothing wrong with that.” Bobby said, tucking the list into his pocket. 

“There is when I have to play Tetris just to fit everything in the fridge.” Chimney butted in, shaking his head at the thought of all the food his Captain brought over in the last week. Everyone was standing now, saying their goodbyes to the doctor and gathering up their things. Hen had bought her overnight bag from the station, fully expecting to spend the night in an uncomfortable chair with the rest of her family. 

They all piled into the waiting elevator, squeezing in until there was barely enough room for chests to expand, Buck somehow ending up squished in the middle, someone’s elbow pushing into his side. 

Everything was fine until Chimney sneezed unexpectedly right into Hen’s side, the women screeching back up into Bobby, who in turn fell right into his wife. 

They were all a pile of locked limbs trying to keep each other up by the time the elevator opened on the ground floor, laughing too hard to realize they were being watched by a group of undergrads. 

They just let the door close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys next time! 
> 
> Warning- hospitals, throwing up, medical talk, malnutrition, chemo, side effects from chemo, cancer, injury, blood. 
> 
> Love you all!!💜💜


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
> 
> “It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
> 
> “What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
> 
> “Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
> 
> “Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
> 
> It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
> 
> “We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
> 
> It was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So honestly guys, this is not my best chapter in my opinion, more a filler if anything, but I wanted to just get it posted and start a new, you know? I’ve been slowly right and deleting and then rewriting this chapter for almost a month and I was just over it. 
> 
> Anyways, here’s the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it regardless of its significance to the story. 
> 
> Also, how would you guys feel about maybe some 911 Lone Star one shots? I’ve got a few ideas circling my brain and I want to hear your opinion.

Buck opened his eyes slowly, one after the other, glancing around the room until a very familiar figure was in his sights, standing in the corner with a far off look in his eye. He quickly removed the headphones from around his ears and let them hang low on his neck, sitting up as far as he could go in his recliner.

“Bobby?” He called, jumping almost as high as the man himself did when his eyes snapped to meet his, a visible shutter shocking him back down to earth. It only took two quick strides for the man to be back by his side, retucking the blanket despite the younger man already feeling like a burrito, and fluffing up his pillow. He reached down and grabbed a very full bag from beside Buck’s chair, pulling out a still cold bottle of water and a bendy straw, fixing the drink and pressing it to Buck’s lips without even asking if he was thirsty. 

“You need to drink more water; I was reading up on Chemotherapy last night and one of the symptoms was dehydration and being really thirsty during sessions so I pack a few bottles just in case.” Bobby rambled, going as far as to hold the straw to make sure it didn’t spill. Buck took a few hesitant sips, cocking an eyebrow when the older man still didn’t pull the bottle away. He nudged it to the side gently when he realized Bobby was once again stuck in his own throats, and clearly not in the room anymore. 

Buck quickly took the bottle from him before he startled again and caused an accident neither of them wanted to explain to the nursing staff, and rested his free hand on his upper arm. “Are you okay, Bobby?” Buck called out, and he got no response; the older man just kept staring at a distant spot, totally checked out. 

He’s never seen Bobby—attentive, always focused, ‘I need to know everything’—Bobby so unfocused before. It was honestly starting to scare him a little. 

He was just about to wave his fingers in front on his face in a last ditch effort to grab the man’s attention before he called a nurse when Bobby snapped back, almost like his brain was switched back on, rebutting as he tried to figure out what he was doing a minute before. 

Buck got up from his recliner so he could stand shoulder to shoulder with his Captain, untangling his IV cords as he got up. He slowly put both hands on the man's shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. It was enough of a shock to get his system going again, his arms reaching and clutching Buck’s like he was trying to figure out how and why he was standing in front of him. 

“Buck, What are you doing? Sit back down.” 

“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you.” Buck said, swatting away a hand when Bobby tried to get him seated again.

“What do you mean? I’m fine.” Buck snorted at that, rolling his eyes so hard Bobby was worried they were going to get stuck. 

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for like ten minutes now Bobby. You’ve been staring off into space like a space cadet since we got here. I’ll ask again, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Buck’s eyebrows were raised high on his forehead in question, arms crossed as tightly as they could get across his chest with multiple lines pricked into the back of his hand. 

“I’m fine kid, I’m fine. Just sit down, alright?” Bobby asked, diving into his Captain voice at the end to get Buck to listen. The man did with a huff, going as far as to let Bobby retuck the blanket around his waist before he asked again. 

“I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, that’s all.” The older man sighed, dragging a chair over so he could sit closer instead of standing blankly in the corner.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Buck frowned, grabbing Bobby’s hand from where it was absent mildly playing with a loose end on his sweater.

Bobby looked up with a small smile, clutching Buck’s hand back like it was the only thing keeping him feathered to the ground. 

“I just couldn’t get my mind to shut off, I guess.” 

“So you decided to go on a Wikipedia binge? Those never lead to anything good. I should know; I’ve been down enough holes to know that once you start, you can’t stop.” Buck laughed.

Bobby sighed again, a small smile covering his face and crinkling up his eyes, “I’m not going to lie kid, I’ve just been worried.” 

“About what?” Buck asked, his nose scrunching up like it always does when he’s either confused or asked a question he doesn't know the answer to.

“About you Buck.” Bobby laughed, reaching over and placing a firm hand on his shoulder, “about this.” He gestured to the room they were currently sitting in, and the IV stuck in Buck’s hand. “Seeing you like this hasn’t been easy, and I guess the parental instincts in me are screaming for me to fix it, to make it better, but I can’t.” Bobby said, head turned downward and shoulders scrunched and shaking, like the weight of his words were almost too much for him to bare.

“But you can.” It was Buck’s turn to reach out a hand, tugging at the older man’s sleeve until he looked up. “Just being here makes it better, Bobby. I know all of you want to just snap your fingers and make it disappear, but you can’t, so you do the next best thing.” 

“And what’s that?” Bobby questioned, wiping away the lone tear in his eye before it could fall. 

“Being here, sitting with me for four hours despite the fact that you just got off of shift and have a family waiting for you at home.” And really, Bobby didn’t know what to say to that, other than to pull the young man into his side and hope his actions conveyed that Buck was his family too. That the family he built with Athena wouldn’t be complete without him at the dinner table, knocking shoulders with May as they whispered about her elusive college life, spread out on the couch with Harry as they played Minecraft, Athena hovering in the corner reminding them for the hundredth time to keep it down. 

It was chaotic and loud with little to no down time or moments to breath, but Bobby wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So yeah, Bobby hovered over Buck and made sure he was eating as much as he could, and went to every appointment and session his schedule allowed because he had to ensure that that image stayed true, that nothing would change. 

That Evan Buckley stayed sitting at his dinner table, as one of his fire fighters, as one of his kids. 

He pulled Buck back into his side quickly, placing a hand on the back of his head to keep him tucked into his shoulder. “You know I love you, right? That I would do anything to make sure you were okay, and had everything you needed.” Bobby whispered, smoothing out his hair and trying not to think about how it wouldn’t be there in a few short days. “That you’re my kid as much as Robert, Brook, May, and Harry are.” He ignored the sudden dampness that soaked into his shoulder, and instead just pulled Buck in closer, closing his eyes. 

“I know, Bobby. I love you too.” Buck cloaked out past the lump in his throat, for once not worried about the tears in his eyes. 

They stayed like that till the nurse came in to unhook him, just smiling at their red eyes and stuffy noses, offering a pack of tissues before making her way back out of the room. Buck quickly cleaned up his face and took a couple sips from his water to recollect himself. 

He stood up with a sigh, rubbing absentmindedly at the sting in the back of his hand where the needle was, letting Bobby shoulder his bag and steer him out of the oncology ward. 

“Do you want to pick up some smoothies to bring back home? We can pick some up for Athena and the kids.” Bobby offered once they were in the car, checking to make sure Buck’s seat belt was secured before he pulled out of the parking lot. 

Buck was honestly feeling alright enough to handle a smoothie, knowing that would change come nightfall, so he took Bobby up on his offer. 

They walked into Joan’s not even ten minutes later, the women walking out from the back at the sound of the ding. She paused for a moment at the sight of them, taking in Buck’s new appearance with a slight frown, an all knowing look in her eye. She walked out from behind the counter a moment later, gathering Buck into a tight hug without even a greeting. 

“I knew there was something going on with you after weeks of not seeing your face.” She whispered into his ear, somehow knowing without even needing to ask. She held him for a few more moments, placing a small kiss on his forehead before she pulled back. She went back behind the counter and started pulling different fruits and vegetables without an order. “I’m going to make you a nice protein smoothie, alright? Filled with nutrients and calories that should help if you miss a meal or two.” She said, filling her blender with an experienced eye. “Who are we ordering for today, Captain Nash?”

“Myself, Athena, May, and Harry.” Bobby said, stealthy slipping a few bills into the tip jar, stepping away with his wallet tucked back into his pocket before Joan could turn around and catch him. She knew of course, she always did. 

“You should know that I don’t keep any of the money you guys put into that jar, Captain Nash. It all gets donated back to the firefighter foundation.” Buck couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking his head because of course she would. 

Joan’s husband and daughter were both firefighters, just at a different house. They would work calls together every once in a while, exchanging quick hellos in the form of fist bumps and pats on the back before they were whisked into the chaos of a multiple house call. 

Joan turned back around a few minutes later, a drink holder bending under the weight of four very large smoothies, and one off to the side. She slid the holder over to Bobby before handing Buck his, a pale green in color and almost spilling from it's lid with how full it was. 

“This has the same nutritional content as a full meal without it being so harsh on your stomach, so try and drink as much as you can.” Joan said, smiling when Buck immediately picked up the drink and took a big sip. 

“Like I’d ever waste one of your smoothies, Joan.” Buck said, following Bobby out the door with one last goodbye, promising to stop by more often. He got back into the front seat with a sigh, clicking his seatbelt into place and taking the drink holder from Bobby. He took another sip from his smoothie, absentmindedly chewing on the straw as they made their way back to Bobby’s and Athena’s. 

“You alright?” Bobby asked, taking his eyes off the road for a split second to take in Buck’s now slumped form, eyes blinking sluggishly as he slowly made his way through his smoothie. 

Buck sighed, straightening back up, “yeah I’m okay, just tired.” 

“You can take a nap in the guest room until Chim comes to pick you up if you want.” Buck just hummed, still upset about the new arrangement everyone made without his consent. 

He hasn’t gotten a minute alone to himself since he fell, everyone deciding that it was safer if he had a twenty four hour babysitter.

Buck knew that they were all just worried, but it made him feel useless to not be able to do anything for himself anymore. 

Maddie made him breakfast in the morning while Chimney counted out the many pills he had to take with every meal, reading glasses that he insisted he didn’t really need perched on the bridge of his nose.

And then someone came over on their day off to stay with him while they went to work, always saying they didn’t mind, and they wanted to spend time with him, but Buck still felt bad about taking up their limited free time. 

They pulled up to the house ten minutes later, smoothies in their grasp and smelling only slightly like antiseptic. Athena greeted them at the door, pulling Buck in for a hug as she guided him to sit on the couch. She turned to her husband next, taking the smoothies with a grateful smile and calling May and Harry from their rooms. 

“Hey Buck!” Harry shouted, plopping down on the couch and throwing his arms around him. Buck laughed, eagerly returning Harry’s hug, making sure his smoothie didn’t get knocked over in the kiss eagerness to greet him. 

That was one of the good things to come out of the arrangement, he got to see the fire fam kids more often. When he first got his diagnosis, he kind of unintentionally distanced himself from the kids, not wanting to upset or scare them. May knew something was up almost immediately, a simple text demanding to know what was happening was all it took to spill it to the observant teen. 

Christopher on the other hand was a totally different story because he wasn’t just a kid; he was the kid. 

His kid, and he had know idea how to tell him. They’ve been feeding him little white lies on how he was busy, or not feeling well enough to do their usual Friday night movies, but Chris was an observant, bright kid, and Buck could tell the story was starting to fall apart. 

He's going to have to go over to Eddie’s soon and just break the news, accept the tears and confusion that was bound to come with an open shoulder and just do it. 

“You alright Buck?” May asked—and when did she sit down beside him?— making him realize he’s been staring at the coffee table and slowly chewing on his straw in a daze for however many minutes he’s been lost in thought. 

“Yeah I’m fine, just tired.” He said, a yawn bubbling up in his throat proving his point. 

“Do you want to go watch a movie in the guest room?” Harry asked, already getting up knowing Buck could never pass up watching a movie. 

“Yeah that sounds great, Harry. You want to come to May?” Buck grabbed his smoothie as he stood, turning around just long enough to see her nod. 

“Okay, but we’re not watching Star-Wars again, we watched that last time.” 

“It’s a classic and I know you secretly love it, but fine. We’ll watch a Disney movie or something.” 

Harry popped his head out of the door frame just as they were about to enter the guest room, a pleading look in his eye, “can we watch How to Train Your Dragon?” 

“That’s not a Disney movie.” Buck laughed, already pulling up the movie on Hulu.

“It’s not? I thought Disney owned everything.” Harry said, jumping into the middle of the bed and all but burying himself in the comforter. May got in next to her younger brother, shoving him slightly so she’d have enough room to lay down. It was a tight squeeze, with knocked elbows and tangled legs, but they somehow all fit on the queen sized bed somewhat comfortably. 

“I mean, they’ve definitely monopolized most of the movie industry, but there are still a few companies they don’t own.” Buck said once he was comfortable, May’s legs somehow thrown over his and Harry’s head resting on his shoulder. 

Buck knew it wouldn’t take long for him to pass out, with being exhausted from chemo and the overall inability to stay awake for normal amounts of time, but for now he was content. He stole a glance at May, eyes already blinking in the glow of the TV screen, looking more interested in a nap then sitting through the whole movie. Harry was the only one truly awake, eyes captivated as he hummed along to the opening theme song. 

The door slowly creeping open caught his attention as soon as he slid his eyes closed, Athena and Bobby poking their heads threw and smiling at the pile of limbs they became. They left after snaking a few photos that will no doubt end up on the group chat, but Buck didn’t care. 

He was warm and cuddle up the the people he considered family, and right there in that moment there was no where else he rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and as always I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts. 
> 
> Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings— main character has cancer, mentions of cancer, Chemo side effects, sickness, possible depressive themes, themes that deal with depression.


End file.
